Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Getting to me

I'm not going to lie.  This whole EVERYBODY AND THEIR SISTER are pregnant business is kind of getting to me.  The good friend in me is genuinely happy for all my soon-to-be-moms-again friends.  I get warm and fuzzy tingles for all of them thinking of how happy they are expecting their 2nd babies.

Then there's the selfish side of me that has been wanting to have a baby for months now.  Please spare me the "you have baby fever" tag.  I don't want another baby because all my friends are having them, I've wanted another baby for awhile because I want to expand my own family.  Period.  I also don't think that it would be especially cool to be pregnant when EVERYONE else is.  Call me self centered but it's nice to be special and have your own moment in the sun.

The rational side of me knows that waiting a few more months is the right sane thing to do.  Hopefully in 2 or 3 months my dissertation will be done and I could enjoy some free time to myself.  Hopefully in 2 or 3 months I will have lost these last few stubborn pounds and reach my goal of running a 10K.  Hopefully in 2 or 3 months my husband will be amped to shoot for baby 2 instead of what he is now--apprehensive at how our lives will change and he'll have more demands on his time.

For now I'll just have to enjoy chasing after and teaching the little girl I do have.  The girl that has been screaming "Mammmmmmma! Mammmmma!" from her bedroom for the last 15 minutes because she doesn't want to go to bed.....

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