Insomnia

I guess showing a photo of me sleeping is not a good way of saying I have horribel insomnia lately.  My husband so nicely snapped this of me when he "let me sleep in" Monday morning.  When I say sleep in I mean he let me lay in bed by myself without be trampled by Mimi asking to watch Elmo on my Iphone.

The truth is I have been suffering from insomnia pretty bad since my husband left. Insomnia is difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep, or having nonrefreshing sleep for at least 1 month.  Even though I should be tired, I cannot fall asleep until 2 or 3am.  I lay in bed from 11pm on just tossing and turning. Finallyy I must pass out then in the morning I struggle to get my ass out of bed when I hear Mimi screaming "Momma! I'm all done!"  Meaning, I'm all done sleeping come get me out of my crib you lazy mom!!!

Then I spend most of the early part of the day feeling like road kill and drinking coffee.  Finally at 3pm I'm awake and the day is gone.  So much for dissertation work.......

I need to knix coffee after lunch, create a soothing nighttime routine (like i'm a baby lol!) and try to get at least 7 hrs of Z's or I think I might have a meltdown.

I think it's just stress and anxiety over renting the house and the move.  To top it off the apartment people called us today and told us that they can have our apartment ready 17 days early, thanks a lot fancy apartment place for telling me the wrong date and letting me schedule a moving company around your date. AND canceling my daycare around that date, AND coordinating travel around that date. AWESOME.

Another new scale....

Okay, so I am a little obsessed with weighing myself.  Not with what the number is, but how it changes.  There are a lot of reasons I have this issue.  I would say the big one is that I used to be OBESE. So, when you slowly gained >70 lbs over 5 years, then busted your ass to lose it, you would probably monitor your weight too.  I like to know the number on the scale to keep me focused.  If I've had a pretty "free" weekend foodwise, I see that the scale goes up and it makes me focus more on what I've putting in my body and how much I'm hitting the road running.  I also only weigh myself at the same time of day in the same clothes (or rather lack of clothes).  If I miss this timeslot, I don't weigh myself that day.  The second reason I monitor my weight is for a more practical reason (and less about obsession), I take diuretics for my blood pressure and therefore I monitor my weight and look for any strange increases or decreases.  For instance, the first 2 days I was on these drugs, I dropped 7 lbs.

So I was using a scale made by "Thinner." This scale was crap.  It was not precise at all!  You can step on it once and it would tell you one number, then 10 seconds later it would tell you you weighed 5 lbs more.  NOT okay.  I need want a scale that reads in the 0.10 lb increment.  So luckily, I had saved the box and receipt and after putting up with this mystifying scale for a month or so, I returned it and exchanged it for another scale.  We'll see how this one fares.  So far, I'm skeptical, either the scale if off, or I gained 5 lbs.  I know what my weight was on both the doctor's scale (geesh I know I go to the doctor pretty often too), and my own scale (now returned), so like I said, this scale is either consistently 5 lbs off or I've gained 5 lbs this week.  BLAH!!!

As I'm typing this, I see how I am a little obsessed.  I mean who blogs about their bathroom scale really?  But hey, at least I realize I have issues, right?

Okay, I know I have issues, but somebody told me the other day I looked "sickly" (in reference to my weight). For real? I am still 10-15 lbs overweight.  It kind of offended me.  

Do I look sickly?  This was taken Friday.

Outfit of the Day

It was really humid today after the rain, but my husband (who came home today for the weekend!!!) snapped some photos of my outfit.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this tunic cambray shirt from Jcrew, I waited all season for it to go onsale and last week it finally did!

Tunic Shirt--Jcrew
Tights--Forever 21
Leather Sandals--some store in St. Augustine a few years ago

btw--just starting using smashbox primer before my foundation and I am loving how nice it keeps your makeup throughout the day and how nice the foundation goes on.

Notice the pouch--need to lose that last 15 lbs!!!!!

One Scary Morning

[Inspired by Jess Craig's Post Today]

You know your husband loves you when this is what you look like in the morning....That's right folks.  Me. No makeup, No styling products, just plain ol' scary.  Is is possible for one person to possess and display so much frizz?

After 10 minutes of flat ironing and some Chi Hair Serum....

Phew....

Still no makeup, but at least I dont' look like a wild beast from the woods anymore.....

So How Magical was Disney on a 95 Degree Day?

Disney was everything I thought it would be----HOT CROWDED EXPENSIVE

Needless to say, it was not as magical as I imagined.  I guess I should say that I'm not surprised at the day we had.  I have avoided Disney World this last 7 years I've lived in FL (and only a 2 hour drive away from the parks) because I don't like crowds and heat and paying an arm and a leg for junk food.

My friend Patty and I have kids the same age, who both go to the same daycare.  The kids also get along great, which is nice.  Mimi and Alex have been little buds for awhile now.  I told Patty that I wanted to pick a weekday and take Mimi to Disney before we left Florida.   She hadn't taken her youngest son Alex yet either, so we picked a random Tuesday and hopped in her Volvo and headed for Magic Kingdom.  We bought our tickets at the AAA office for $73 instead of purchasing them at the gate for $82 (nice).  We got there shortly after the normal opening hour.  From the get go, this was quite the ordeal.  From the parking lot you take a tram to the gate where you get your tickets, then you can take either the monorail or ferry to the actual park.  I was already overwhelmed by this point.

We rented a double stroller and hit the bathrooms (surprising clean), and headed to Fantasy land.  We managed to get in 4 rides, icecream, a lunch, meeting of some characters, and a parade before the kids were completely pooped at 4pm and wanted to head home.  We actually caught the parade as we were headed out, which was such a nice end to the day.

The kids did great, despite the hot as balls weather.  Mimi loved the rides, but not the lines.  She didn't get scared of the characters, but wasn't too thrilled about them since she has no idea who they are.  Overall the kids had fun, but this whole scene is not my cup of tea.

I dont' want to sound completely down on Disney.  I only went to Magic Kingdom (1 of 5 parks), so I can't judge the park as a whole.  We also went on a 95 degree day, so this definitely impacted my mood throughout the day. But I can tell you that I'm not itching to blow money on more tickets and go again any time soon.  In a few years when Mimi is older and knows the characters we may spring for one of the 4 day disney vacation packages where you stay in the park resort and take a short tram to the park and get extended hours.  This way we could go back to the hotel and eat a healthy (and less expensive lunch) and cool down in the peak sun hours, then head back to the park for the evening.  We could then also see more parks.

I'm proud to say neither Mimi nor I got sunburned!

My house is F'ed Man...

So if you've seen my house, you probably wouldn't guess that I tend to be a little OCD about things (because since I've worked full time it's been a complete mess), but right now it is in disarray to the extreme!  It makes me have so much anxiety.

Since the company is paying for full pack and ship I don't have to pack stuff, but really....do I want to sit there and watch the movers pack my delicates and toiletries etc? No thank you.  So I went to pick up some boxes from the moving company and started packing.  So combine boxes, furniture for sale, and mimi's bed sitting in boxes in the dining room, it's a full house!

Next week we're listing the house for rent. We tried to find a friend or friend of friend to rent, but all those plans kind of fell apart and it's go time.  House needs to be rented by June 20.  I know we won't have trouble renting it, but I hope to find someone chill and easy to deal with.  We've also been dealing with changing our home owners insurance and making repairs, etc, and man it's frustrating.  I think it might be nice to rent for awhile!

I should be working on my dissertation right now....but I seriously have a horrible and headache and super anxiety, so I've thrown in the towel for the day and I'm going to do what makes me feel more at ease. Life's too short man.  I'm going to get done as much as I can so when I go get Mimi at daycare I can just play with her and have fun.  The daycare lady opened her pool up and now the kids get to swim daily.  I know Mimi is going to be so thrilled.  She LOVES the water.  The daycare lady used to be a swim instructor too, which is cool, she guides the kids through some different learning activities in the pool.  I'm excited that our new place has a pool, even if it's for yuppy adults who probably never swim in it!

Dinners with Mimi

Me in 2009-wow holy face chunkage

My friend Christy point blank asked me the other day while we were out in the field sampling some lakes how I lost my weight.  She kept saying "well what did you do exactly?"  Her partner Ashley has been struggling with her weight and doing the whole gym thing and not seeing any results and Christy thought I had some magical answer.  

Me last weekend in Austin (May 2011)-wow I have cheekbones.......

Sometimes I forget that I must look different to people that don't see me that often.  When I last worked day to day with Christy I was 210 lbs and wearing a size 16, now I am 180 and wear a 12.  I guess if you hadn't seen me over the last year it must seem like BAM! I must have done something like take a pill or get lipo, or become anorexic or something drastic.

Dinner the other night:  Whole Grain Grilled Cheese, Annie's Organice Tomato Bisque and Organic Raspberries

The best way to answer Christy's questions is that I changed my lifestyle and my way of thinking, well and breastfed a baby for 13 months!  After having Mimi I was so sick of being overweight and frumpy (and I was before having her too) that I made a commitment to eat clean and workout.  Really that's it. When I say that's it, I don't mean to say it was simple.  The answer was simple, the process was not really.  No pills, no crash diets, no anorexia.  I stopped drinking my calories (#1 step to cutting excess calories), I ate foods that weren't processed or filled with preservatives, I watched my portions, and I started (and finished) a 5K running program.  Along the way I learned to battle eating issues like compulsive finishing syndrome and eating when you're not hungry.

Today I'm still overweight (UGH).  I weigh 180lbs and I'm 5'10".  My doc told me I should really be 170 or below.  I am aiming for 170 now, but hope to get closer to 160 eventually. Baby steps.  What's funny is even though I'm overweight still I'm the smallest I've been in my entire adult life.  My diet's not perfect, but I give each day my best by making healthy choices.  I weight myself everyday, not because I'm obsessed, but it helps me hold myself accountable and see when I've overdone it a little food wise.

I want Mimi to grow up and feel comfortable in her own body.  I want her to choose an active lifestyle and enjoy food.  I want to be a healthy mom and good role model for her.  I want to stay healthy and fit so I'm around for as long as the ol' body and mind hold out.

I just signed up for a bootcamp training course.  I did a class thursday and I felt amazing.  Well, two days later I can't cough without my abs screaming, but you know what I mean....I need a  cross-training activity to help me past this brick wall in my running and battle this last 10 lbs.  I started running indoors on the treadmill and the AC helps SOOOOO much.  With luck, by the end of summer I'll hit my goal weight and be stronger and leaner!

Thursday Thursday

Holy Random Day Today.

Just some of the thoughts I had today:

I had the BEST talk with my PhD adviser today.  We sat outside on the patio and ate our lunch together and as I was chomping down on my subway sub (eat fresh), we talked family and kids.  Now being my PhD advisor and all, his job is actually somewhat evaluated on my performance as a student.  This includes how many years it takes me to graduate, how many papers I publish, etc etc.  So you would think that when I told him I was pregnant with Mimi he would have been concerned or annoyed or even inconvenienced right?  Nope. He was proud and happy for me.  Now 2 years later, still not finished with my PhD (although I"m only on year 4 and most people take 5 or more years), you would think that when I told him I was quitting my job and moving to Texas so my husband could work a great job and I could stay home with Mimi and have more babies he'd be once again concerned or annoyed or even inconvenienced right? Nope. We had a very candid conversation about the value of at-home parenting and even home-schooling (which i'm still on the fence about doing with Mimi).  I LOVE that my advisor values family and kids.  I love that he thinks that it's a wonderful to want to be at home with my child.  Now that he was nice to me today, he'll probably spend tomorrow nagging me to write more.....

Mimi also had an adventure today. An adventure in POOP.  So the other day when I picked Mimi up from daycare, I told my daycare provider to watch out---because Mimi had taken to stripping naked including taking off her diaper, especially if you let her play in the crib too long after nap is over.  I told her one of my parenting fears is that Mimi will have pooped in her and then taken if off and smeared it everywhere in her crib.  So what do you think she called me today and told me?  Mimi stripped naked, took her diaper off after naptime (she's in a pack in play in a private room in the lady's house), and proceeded to take her poop and smear it EVERYWHERE.  I feel kind of bad for the daycare provider that she had to clean up this catastrophe, but I also kind of laughed.  The daycare provider shouldn't have left her there awake so long!  She'll go and retrieve her from nap faster next time I bet!

Ellie's Awesome Faux Hawk, she's so badass

French Tip Toes :-)

I got a pedicure with my bud Grace today before I picked Mimi up.  We now have pretty toes and I got to hold baby Ellie and get my baby fix.  When I finish my PhD and lose these last 10 lbs Franco better watch out because I am so ready for baby #2!  Ellie had a nice faux hawk today.  She slept through our pedicures, I swear i've only seen her eyes once, what a peaceful sleepy newborn she is!  And I LOVE her fat little cheekies.

Mimi protested at swim today.  It was really quite the pain in the ass today.  After daycare I rush to swim class at the YMCA.  It's so crowded at 6pm so I park all the way out in the end of the lot (like 1/4 mile from the door), carry giganto toddler Mimi in because I"m in a rush and she walks like an elderly person, get into the lockeroom and realize my friggin' swimsuit is in the car.  I rush back carrying giganto toddler again, and by the time we get in the pool we're 10 minutes late for our 30 minute class.  To top it off, Mimi decides she doesn't want to swim today.  No jumping, no bubbles, no kicking, and certainly no swimming underwater.  She clung to me like she was going to be eaten by a bear if she leg go.  So needless to day it was a wash so to speak.

After her swim Kim watched Mimi and I went to a crossfit class at the college track.  It was INTENSE.  I really needed a class like this to jump start me.  My running hass become stagnent and I need to mix it up.  I still run 2-3 miles a couple days a week too though.  I am going to lose this last 10 lbs and get all fit and stuff lol.  Franco is so bored living in a hotel alone that he's been working out everyday too.  We're getting buff together long-distance style.

Well no i'm EXHAUSTED.  I 'm going to sleep.  I've been not setting the alarm clock and just waking up when Mimi wakes up. We don't get to daycare until like 10am lol, but we're both rested, happy and calm, what more could you ask for?

Later Peeps.

Reorganizing and Refocusing

That title sounds so "self help" doesn't it?  It almost sounds like a title of a self help book buried in the clearance bin at Booksamillion right?  Well in all seriousness this title really is my life right now.  Hokey as it is, the transition I'm in right now really has me reorganizing in a physical sense and an emotional sense, and that process has led me to focus on what's important to me right now and in the future.

In the physical sense, we're moving homes, which if you've done it a few times you know you finally realize (while packing up your abundant belongings) that you have a ton of STUFF.  Seriously.  Last weekend we rented an apartment, and even though it is the same size as our home essentially as far as sq ft, it really is lacking in the storage we have in our current home (garage, attic, 3rd bedroom closet, patio).  We're going from having those extra spaces to tuck our "stuff" to more space to live in.  This place has bigger bedrooms with awesome walk-in closets, two gorgeous and huge bathrooms (we now only have 1), and a nice size kitchen with much more cupboard storage and a pantry to boot.  We are however, losing a ton of storage.  When we first put down our deposit, we realized that a lot of current furniture won't work.  We got to talking about what we'd sell, what we'd store, etc. and I actually cried over my dining room table.  Really Jen?  The 300 dollar dining room table from Ikea was worth crying over?  I realized that I'm so emotionally attached to STUFF.  The same emotional attachement that led me to store 4 large rubbermaid bins of 0-12 month baby clothes in the attic.  I really need to learn to let go, literally.

Now that I'm a week out from my little furniture loss meltdown, I realize how silly I'm being.  It's furniture and clothing.  What's important isn't the table we eat at in our new apartment, it's the meals we'll have together as a family.  The fun we'll having cooking in our new kitchen, the fact that I get to take a bath without Mimi's bath toys balanced on the edge of the tub.

As I go from room to now cleaning out closets and nooks, I finding this great sense of relief.  We're starting fresh in a new city, in a new place to live. I'm excited to break in the new kitchen, put clean sheets on or bed in our new bedroom, and make our new place our new home (atleast for the first year)
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In other random news---we picked up Mimi's bed last night from Potterybarn kids.  Call me smug but they're wood furniture holds up great.  They're decor is of course ridiculously overpriced, but all of the wood furniture I have from them has held up spectacularly to wear and tear and continues to look nice.  We had been window shopping for a bed for the Mimi monster for awhile now.  She needs to get into a real bed.  She can climb in and out of her crib, and now has taken to viciously kicking the rails letting me know she doesn't want to go to sleep.  I love her crib and would really appreciate it if she could lay off on destroying it so the next bambino can use it.  When I saw the bed that I had been eyeing go on sale, I made an executive decision and bought it.  I figure the movers can move it to Austin for me!  I love that you can lower the frame and use it without a boxspring so while she's little she can have it be really low to the ground, then as she gets older we can raise it and add the trundle for extra sleeping space.  Bam, two beds in one!  I think I'll get her a Serta mattress from Sams Clubs and we'll open everything and set it up in Austin.  I think she can make it one more month here in her crib.  For now it sits in boxes in my dining room.  I'm interested to see my husband's reaction when he comes home for a visit next weekend to find two giant potterybarn kids boxes in our dining room.  I have to share a video of Mimi.  It's dark, but her little voice was so cute.  We told her we were going to go pick up her big girl bed, and in the boxes in and on top of the car were her bed.  She kept saying, over and over and over,  my bed! my bed! and patting the box next to her. I love this kid so much.  She is so dang cute lately with her little voice.

Beach Weekend with Grandma

A guy I worked with owns a condo on crescent beach and gave us a weekend at his condo for free as sort of a thanks for the volunteer work I do for his ministry.   We got there Friday afternoon and enjoyed the late afternoon rays.  We found a local grocery store and made some nice dinners in house.  Saturday we got 5 solid hours of beautifulness before a storm came.  It was actually perfect, the storm came right at nap time anyway!   Today Mimi and I hit the beach at 8:30am right after breakfast to get in our last few digs in the sand before we checked out at 11am.  We went to downtown St. Augustine on our way out and spent a few hours shopping, wandering, and eating icecream, and of course snapping photos like tourists.  I kind of with I had brought the stroller though.    Now we're home applying aloe to our pink shoulders and cheeks and washing damp beach clothes.  Another weekend of "saying goodbye" to Florida.  We move to our Apt. in Austin June 24.  I just want to share some moments...

The beach access right outside the condo.  Clean, beautiful, white sands!

My mom doesn't get to see Mimi that much, but when she comes, Mimi LOVES it.  Mommy loves it too.  She gets a little break without feeling guilty.

Thank you Target for all the dollar bin sand toys! They were a hit!

I just really like this photo of my mom.

My drip castle right before Mimi smashed it.

Me Chillin on the balcony in my happening beach hair.

Mimi hanging by a fountain in downtown St. Augustine.

I love this face.  Mimi in downtown St. Augustine.

Austin Trip -- Operation find a place to live

After finally getting all my ducks in a row with who was watching Mimi and Buddy, I travelled to Austin Friday morning at 4am and stayed through Sunday.  We went apartment/condo/house hunting.  What a whirlwind.

Coffee and Trashy Magazines, Travel is a GO
I landed Friday at 11am and spent the afternoon with our leasing agent looking at about 12 properties that I had tagged as possibilites from the MLS listings.  Now, let me just tell you, it kind of stings going from being a homeowner back to renting.  We are keeping our house in FL as a rental property, so we plan on renting in Austin for a few years while we learn the city and save up another downpayment for a house.  

So out of the 12 we saw, there were only 2 that I thought Franks would want to see.  He got in Austin that night and we got some dinner at Snackbar in SoCo and had the best PBLTS I have ever had (Pork Belly Lettuce Tomato Sliders).  It was so refreshing just sitting out on a patio, listening to live music, and drinking a beer with my husband.  I missed him so much this past week.  I loved the atmosphere in SoCo.  For one, I didn't feel old.  When you live in a college town and are pushing 30 you tend to feel a little older than the normal crowd, but not in Austin.  There were couples, old and young, families with babies and dogs in tow.  I really feel like our little family will enjoy living in Austin.

Saturday we met back up with the leasing agent and saw the two places.  One was a smallish condo in the northwest area, while the other was a HUGE house in the northeast area.  Franks wasn't too happy with either.  After we parted ways with the agent, we took a few hours and drove around the neighborhoods of both places and checked out what was around, what the neighborhoods were like, etc.  We ate lunch at this friggin' amazing burger joint, I think it was called Burger TX 2.  I had the Hawaiian burger with slices of pineapple and teriyaki sauce. YUM.  I know what Courtney was talking about now with the food in Austin. Holy Crap, I better find some fun running routes or I'm gonna gain back that 80 lbs.  Anyway...back to homes, we decided we weren't happy with either place.

We ended up stopping at this really cool looking apartment complex just north of downtown.  We were WOWED.  We've never lived in this type of apartment. Very sleek and posh with swanky kitchens.  The  happiness on Franks' face told me he had found where he wanted to live.  To be perfectly honest, this place really isn't me.  But it's a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, with a huge kitchen and gigantic closets.  There's also a nice pool, gym, dog park and ample parking and access to all types of public transportation for quick commutes downtown.  Franks was sold.  We put down a deposit and we can move in June 24.  He said if after 1 year, I'm unhappy with the place we'll move.  They also rent huge storage closets there for cheap too, so we can store things like strollers, wagons, camping gear, christmas decorations etc for $20 and not clutter up the apartment.  I'll say it again, I feel kind of a sting being a renter again, but Franks is happy, Mimi will have her own swank room, bathroom and walk-in closet and we'll have a good first year.  So if any of you are planning to visit, hope you don't mind crashing in the living room......that's the sucky part :-(

Saturday night we went to Zilker park to check out what's there to do since our family loves the outdoors.  HOLY BEAUTIFUL park.  I see Mimi and I spending a lot of time there.

Our New City!

Relaxing after a stressful home finding day...

Later we went and saw a movie at the Alamo theatre which was a totally new movie viewing experience.  We ate "badass nachos" while watching "Your Highness" which wasn't as funny as we were thinking it would be, but got some laughs out of us all the same.

This morning Franks dropped me at the airport after some breakfast tacos, we exchanged some teary-eyed hugs and miss yous and then I boarded the plane back to FL.  

Now the fun begins for real.  This apartment is set up in such a way that our dining and living room furniture won't work.  We plan in leasing our FL house furnished, selling the furniture, or storing some it until we buy or rent a bigger place.  Let the packing, selling, and purging begin!

Body Pump and Zumba

So my running had been pretty crappy lately.  Ever since dealing with this hypertensive crap, I had to cut back on my running and now that my hypertension is controlled by meds, I tried to get back on my game.  I had been running 3.5-4 miles 4-5 days a week.  I felt pretty awesome.  I was also running a 11:30 mile which I was happy with.  NOW I run 2-3 miles 2-3 days week (WEAK) and sometimes care barely get through the 2 miles. Maybe it's the heat, maybe I've lost my groove, whichever it is, I feel sucky about it.  I decided to start some cross training.  Besides, even though running burn hella calories, it only really works my legs and my cardiovascular system.  I need to do upbody, back, core, etc.  I also need to get back into stretching and gain back some of my flexibility.  I'm taking this last month of my gym membership before I move to kick it up a notch.  I plan on doing 2-3 runs a week and 2-3 cross training activities a week. I also went back to my clean 60% raw diet.

Monday I did a body pump class.  I got kind of a laugh out of it actually.  Five years ago I would have shown up to the class too embarrassed to tell the instructor it was my first day. I would have blended it and tried to seem like I'm a not a noob. I would have picked heavier weights and no do any modifications so I didn't seem weak.  Trust me, there were 20 somes in there doing all those things. It was so obvious! HA. I walked in, told the instructor I was a body pump virgin.  Picked light weights, and did the modifications whenever I felt more comfortable doing it.  I knew if I went in there guns blazing and picked heavy weights and did full on squats and lunges with weights I would want to die the next day.  I got a great workout, worked every muscle group and feel moderately sore, but not too sore to workout today.  Body Pump was a success and I plan on doing it again next Monday.

Today I figured I'd try Zumba.  The hella popular dance/aerobic type class.  They brag that you'll be dripping with sweat and have burned 1,000 calories by the end of the 1 hour class.  When I say they, I mean on all the signs in the gym and around town advertising this phenomenon.  Well I have mixed feelings after my first class.  First off, it was first thing this morning.  So I was a bit sluggish, but I gave it my all.  I thought to myself halfway through the class, man this doesn't really feel like I"m working out, I mean I barely broke a sweat until about 40  minutes into the class.  I did feel like it helps you loosen up your hips, and there were some good arm exercises.  Mostly I felt like an awkward idiot shaking my booty a litty too awkwardly for my taste. I'm going to give it one more try next week.

Tomorrow I'm going to drop Mimi off and hit the early Yoga class.  Thursday and Saturday will be run days.  I'll be in Austin Saturday house hunting, but the hubs assured me there are great running trails there.  If I run while I"m there I won't feel so bad stuffing my face with good mexican either!

So there you have it, cross training plan week 1.  Way to the utilize my stupid gym membership that's sat unused for 3 months! Yikes!

Fears of Getting What You Asked For....

One of the main reasons we quit our jobs and chose to move to another state was so that our little family could afford to have one parent be at home fulltime. My husband said "I want one of us to be at home, and I'll do it, but I'd rather it be you." Which didn't bother me, because between you and me he's not always all there watching her, lol.  I mean, she survives, but she's usually in her pajamas and ate bananas and cheerios all day.  Once he even took her to the playground barefoot.  I digress....

Today was my *first* day alone with her 100% (well sort of).  It was so tiring.  There were so many times today that I rolled my eyes back on my head out of frustration and annoyance that I thought. "SHIT. What if I can't do this? What if I'm not good at being a full time SAHM!?"  Mimi wasn't even bad today, she was just FULL OF ENERGY to the core from the minute she woke up.  I did everything I could to keep her happy and active.  We played tea party, we went to the park, we went to the grocery store with the free cookies and I drove the obscene cart with the steering wheels, we went swimming, we walked the dog....See? I tried really hard, and she still was crazy active.  I found myself just wanting to sit for 20 minutes on the couch and read or watch part of a show, but she would just climb on me wanting the computer, wanting to change the channel, wanting to take my hand and lead me to a room to play.....  I think we made the right decision, and I know that hands down I'm happier at home with her than working for the devil, but I'm kind of scared.  Not to mention that we've been entertaining the idea of a 2nd baby, how could I be pregnant and exhausted and take care of the house and chase her like I had to today? I'm kind of scared to be honest.  I guess I'll adjust and find ways to keep my sanity and be a good mom.

Some snapshots from our day......