I knew this day would come....

Now if you're reading this, please understand i'm just a little pissed off irritated right now.  When my husband and I decided that I would quit working and stay home full-time with our toddler (and future kids), he told me how happy it made him that I was game for it.  I have been in college since August of 2000 folks, non-stop, so 11 yes ELEVEN years.  I have almost 3 degrees.  I did not go to college to find a husband to take care of me.  I want a career too, I want to make the big bucks and feel really awesome about my job performance too.  BUT, I see the value (both monetary and other) in our choice, so I will put my aspirations of a career on hold and give my time and energy into something more important, our children.  Just because I stay home with our child all day, this does not mean I'm the house maid and chef full-time.

I feel that as my husband is providing our family's income, my way of giving to the family if by keeping up our home and raising our child.  I literally do everything for our home/life/finances/child, except go to my husband's job. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I pay the bills, I take care of our rental property, the pets, our child, doctor apts, travel arrangements, taxes, I even took care of our entire move including single-handedly unpacking 150 boxes.   Doing all this is MORE THAN A FULLTIME JOB.

Tonight, after we put Mimi to bed after a day or errands, I sat on the couch and turned on the laptop and began to check messages etc.  The kitchen was pretty messy from last night's dinner (that I cooked) and we had been out all day since breakfast.  We have our new babysitter coming tomorrow so I told him I was going to get things cleaned up I just needed to take a break for a minute.  He looked the kitchen and began to huff and puff and do it himself.  I just let him.  Why not?  I clean the kitchen 3 times a day ALL WEEK LONG.  Just because he goes to a desk job all day he can't clean the kitchen once a week?

When I asked him what was wrong he told me it disgusted him that I left all those dirty dishes there since yesterday and that I didn't clean them up.  I think he forgot that he ate off those dishes too.  And he drank the coffees I made him etc etc etc.

It was liked he flipped a switch in me.  I instantly became so angry and defensive I wanted to scream.  What does he think this is I Dream of Genie?  What is he? my new Devil bossman?  I am going to start keeping a list of what I do all day everyday and count up the hours that I was constantly working and give it him. Like a SAHM punchcard.  I knew that someday I would face the reality of how husbands take their stay at home wives for granted, but after 3 weeks?  3 weeks and he's scolding me for leaving the dishes for one day?  I am mystified.  I am so irritated.

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I know you think that I'm overreacting here ladies, but this is like a gigantic red flag to me.  I am not going to be treated like a little house servant.  I'm not perfect. Somedays I"m tired, or have a headache, and the dishes aren't always cleaned up straight away, but why should that overshadow all the other "work" I do?  Raising a kid (especially a 2 year-old) is way harder than my 8-5 job was.  There's more joy in it, but it's still a lot harder.  I feel exhausted at the end of the day too. I want to relax a little on the weekend too.

I want a serious apology.  Or at least a conversation about how I didn't appreciated how he came off and I want him to be truly receptive to my words, and not just appease me and give out some blanket apology so I'll "get over it."  My husband isn't a jerk, but sometimes he doesn't realize how the things he says can be taken very differently than he intended.

UGH