Stuff on my Mind today

Today I wanted to post a couple of things on my mind including:

1. Ferberizing

2. Christmas for an Infant

3. The only-breastfed (no bottle) child--why I think this may not be a good idea

4. How much knee surgery sucks when you have a almost 5-month old

Topic 1.

I'm sure you've heard of the Ferber Method for getting your child to sleep on its own. If you haven't:http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

The above is a link from "Babycenter.com", NOT a primary source, but an overview all the same.

My husband and I always knew we wanted Mimi to be able to self soothe. We both believed this was an important thing for children to be able to do and this ability to self-soothe will help her develop good sleeping habits into childhood. BEFORE ever trying it, I was all about it. When the day came when my husband I decided to give it a try, I had some doubts.

The idea is that you have them sleep in the same place--not a swing or bouncy seat--but their bed, every-time. She had been sleeping in her crib since about 2 weeks old. Which I never intended to do--I had a co-sleeper next to the bed, but she slept longer and sounder in her own crib in the next room. This step we could handle.

Next, you eliminate sleeping crutches such as pacifies, rocking to sleep, nursing to sleep, etc. This was a change for us, but not to terrible to get over. Pacifiers were not an issue, she could careless about paci's most of the time, rocking and nursing to sleep however was difficult to cut out. I had been nursing her to sleep and gentle transferring her for MONTHS. We changed to me nursing her (or getting a bottle depending on who was home), then putting her in her cribbed (burped and dry diaper) while still calm but awake. Thus begins the difficult part--she screamed as soon as we walked out her door.

Ferber's technique it to let them cry for five minutes, then go in and reassure them WITHOUT picking them up, then waiting ten minutes, then 15, you get the picture. Ferber explains that most babies will "break" in 3 days, and no longer cry when put down to bed. If it wasn't for my husband blocking me from going near her room until our little "ferber timer" went off, Mimi would not be ferbered today. Is ferbered a word? lol. Anyway...I can say to you now, that Mimi successfully puts her self to sleep for 2 naps a day and every-night. It took about 3 days (go figure). We have been doing this for several weeks now. Mimi takes about 2 naps a day, one is usually one hour, and the other is about 2 hours. She sleeps from about 9 pm at night to 8:30ish in the morning and doesn't wake up to eat (maybe 3 times a month she'll wake to eat). Mimi seems much more rested and settled after we started ferbering her. She loves her crib, and often wakes up and plays in there without crying for awhile.

It worked for me, but only because my husband supported the decision and didn't let me interfere in the process. It was hard to hear her scream. But she doesn't even do it anymore. Now before you go leaving me a comment exclaiming "She's too young to do this! You're cruel" which is what my friend Grace delicately mentioned to me, I'll tell you a story. We tried ferbering awhile ago--even though I thought it was too soon--my husband wanted to try it. We would leave her to "cry it out" but when we would go back in she would be so worked up, she wouldn't stop crying and she would be really upset. We knew it was too soon. We held off a couple of weeks--now when she is crying and we go in, as soon as we open the door, she turns off the crying like a light-switch and smiles at us, then proceeds to cry as we walk out the door. She's manipulating us.

One thing to note--we had not had a bumper in her crib before. Even though they are pretty--we believed them to be useless because:

1. You can't see them

2. They can't really even move for several months, so there was no worry of her getting her limbs caught in the crib slats

3. They make is a pain is the ass to change cribs sheets---if you have a puker you know how often you have to do this

However--no that she rolls and is no longer swaddled, we installed a breatheable mesh bumper (bought off amazon for less than 20 dollars), she can't get her limbs caught in the slats anymore.

Enough on this topic? Okay, ask me questions is you have them

Topic 2--Christmas for my Infant

Am I a bad parent because I didn't buy Mimi stocking stuffers and Xmas gifts? My feeling is that she really doesn't even understand what gifts are, nor can she have the fun of unwrapping them. Also, she doesn't need anything. I buy her stuff all the time when it's on sale. I recently bought her some Robeez and Umi trainer shoes for when she's older and learns to walk, I bought her the "if you give a ..." series of books from Kohls (at 5 bucks a piece vs normally 15 a pice for hardcover), and I bought her a cozy fleece jacket from LLbean when it was on cleareance last month. I didn't wrap any of these, but they are gifts for her I guess. Besides all this, my family and my husband's family, not to mention our friends have showered her with Christmas gifts beautifully wrapped under our tree right now.

Topic 3

I recently watched a youtube vlog (you're saying, oh no here she goes again with her youtube rants...), and I watched this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMeQtnsNKtc

She is giving an update on her 7-month old son, who has NEVER had any bottles or pacifies, only the breast. This is impressive! That means this women has NEVER been away from her son for more two or three hours in is entire life. Am I a bad mother because I often relish a trip to the grocery store or Target alone while my husband watches Mimi? On the pacifier issue, I don't really have anything against them and Mimi rarely wants her other than the occasional non-hunger soothing. I do however cringe at the site of 2 year-olds walking around with them in their mouthes. Out of curiousity, I commented on this women's video asking her is there was a specific reason she had NEVER used bottles or pacis, because whenever she's mentions it, she has this tone of smuggness "I have nursed his exclusively with NO bottles EVER! (add in scary laugh Muh Ha Ha!). Well she replies back to me that bottles and pacifiers cause ear infections, low milk supply, nipple confusion, and difficulty weaning to a cup. Whoa Whoa Lady, so you're saying that my kid (who gets atleast 1 bottle of my breastmilk a day sometimes more if I have class etc) is going to be prone to ear infections and this will lower my milk supply etc? I did do some research into this---the suction of n0n-vented bottles and pacifiers (which are hard to find because technology has caught up to this suction problem) can cause ear issues. So--I used Avent and Playtex Ventair, and sometimes Evenflo vented nipples. I feel confident that I am not causing Mimi ear infections. I wonder at the women's' point on this becasue her son is 7 months---exclusively nursed---with two ear infections so far, and Mimi (almost 5 months) often gets bottles, no ear infections here! So perhaps her son is prone to them genetically or due to some formation differences in his ear. Lastly, let me tell you my supply is not affected by Mimi's bottle feeding. I normally have at-least-30 bottles stored up in the freezer. Which leads me to my actual point----I had to have surgery on my knee this past week to repair a buckle-handle tear in my minicus. Because of the anesthesia, antibiotics, anti inflammatory and pain medications, I was unable to nurse at all for over 24 hours. I pumped and dumped while my husband gave her the frozen milk in bottles. Mimi was okay with this deal except in the morning and evening when we generally do our long comforting nursing sessions. So imagine you, like me, had an unplanned surgery that left you in this position and you had NEVER EVER given you kid a bottle for 7 months. How traumatizing would this be for your kid? I therefore suggest you do give your kid a bottle here and there even if you normally exclusively nurse--it gives you a break and prepares you child incase you ever HAVE to use a bottle like I did.

This blends into topic 4--me moaning about how much is sucks to be on crutches when you are caring for a 5-month old (almost 5). Like mentioned above, I had to have some-what sudden emergency surgery on my knee last week to repair a torn knee menisucs. I had what is called a buckle-handle tear, where the inner portion tears away, causing pain and inability to fully bend or extend your knee. Left untreated, this injury (I was told) would do further damage to my knee and cause life-long pain. So they wanted to get me in as soon as possible to try to re=attach the tear. Because is was re-attached and not removed, I am no on crutches (no weight bearing) for 6 WEEKS! This F'ing sucks. Can you believe this!? I can't even take care of the baby, shower, get my self dressed, NOTHING for six weeks. My husband and I are trying to adjust to the situation. I am depressed at my situation. I am the type of person who hardly ever lets people help me out---let alone fully take care of me and my baby. I need constant help if I have the baby with me. If left alone, I lounge around in gym clothes with ice packs watching PBS. Now that we have our office back (my husband's friend finally moved out after 3 months) at-least I can sit at our desk and do work and feel at-least mentally productive. So I'm depressed. I cry everyday pondering how I will survive 6 weeks on crutches under my husband's care. Any tips for not drowning in tears and going insane?

After January 1st, Mim will be spending two days a week at my friend's home-run daycare (which I love), and one day a week at home with our expensive but capable babysitter Jenna. A nice college girl who loves my daughter, but needs to learn to rinse out bottles. I was meant to stay home with her two days a week--but now I think we will be spending Monday's at my friend Grace's and Friday's home with Daddy. I pray this goes by quickly and everything heals right so this never happens again.

I wish all you girls a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or Both! Enjoy your babie or pregnancies or just life!

Jenney

Mimi Updates and I turned 28 :-)

Tis the season to be busy..fa la la la la, la la la la

It has been crazy lately but I wanted to make a quick update on Mimilicious.

Mimi is going to be 5 months on Dec 22nd. Sh

e is about 18 lbs and boy is she heavy! We did end of starting solid foods, one tablesp

oon serving, only once per day. So far she has had sweet potato, carrots, apples, pears, prunes, and oatmeal cereal. Our doctor recommended NOT to use rice cereal or giver her pureed bananas because of her constipation problem. Mimi holds her poop for 4-5 days at a time. Very frustrating and probably very painful for her. I thought starting veggies and fruits would help with this, but alas it has made it worse. I think I will try to give her 2 oz of water a day in a bottle or sippy cup to alleviate this issue. I have the playtex sippycups, but the nipple at the top is hard and she hasn't quite got the idea of sucking it yet.

I ordered some "Nuby" ones off amazon, so we'll see if she likes those better. I have been making all my own organic babyfood with teh exception of pru

nes. Finding organic prunes proved tougher than I thought. When I finally found them, they were 4 dollars for 4 oz, so I bought the earth's best organic prunes for 50 cents a jar. It really is affordable to make your own organic food--maybe not the most convienent for travelling--but very affordable and easy.

Here is a list you might find helpful as you make your babyfoods--

1. Peaches - Summer’s blushing fruit contains high residues of iprodione, classified as a probable human carcinogen by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and methyl parathion, an endocrine disruptor and organophosphate (OP) insecticide. Methyl parathion has caused massive kills of bees and birds. According to Consumer Reports, single servings of peaches "consistently exceeded" EPA’s safe daily limit for a 44-pound child.
2. Apples - Apples may contain methyl parathion. Both fresh apples and baby food applesauce can also contain chlorpyrifos, an OP which has caused large bird kills. CORE Values IPM apple growers are trying to phase out OPs.
3. Pears - Pears, both fresh and in baby food, can also come with methyl parathion, as well as the OP azinphos-methyl, which is toxic to freshwater fish, amphibians and bees.
4. Winter Squash - Dieldrin, a chlorinated, carcinogenic insecticide, exceeded the safe daily limit for a young child in two-thirds of positive samples. Another potent carcinogen, heptachlor, also showed up. DDT and its breakdown product, DDE, were detected in baby food squash.
5. Green Beans - Green Beans can contain acephate, methamidophos and dimethoate (three neurotoxic OPs), and endosulfan, an endocrine-disrupting insecticide, which showed up in baby food, too. Acephate disorients migrating birds, throwing them off course.
6. Grapes - U.S. grapes contain methyl parathion and methomyl, a carbamate insecticide listed as an endocrine disruptor; imports may contain dimethoate.
7. Strawberries - The enhanced red color of strawberries comes from the fungicide captan, a probable human carcinogen that can irritate skin and eyes, and is highly toxic to fish. While the lethal soil fumigant methyl bromide doesn’t show up on the fruit, it has harmed California farm workers, and depletes the ozone layer.
8. Raspberries - Watch out for more than thorns! These berries can contain captan, iprodione and carbaryl, a suspected endocrine disruptor that has also been found in plum baby food
9. Spinach - Permethrin, a possible human carcinogen, and dimethoate dominate spinach’s toxicity ratings, but CU notes that residue levels have been declining as U.S. farmers reduce use of these insecticides. DDT has been found in spinach, which leads all foods in exceeding safety tolerances.
10. Potatoes - Pesticide use on potatoes is growing, CU warns. They may contain dieldrin and methamidophos, and children eating potatoes risk getting a very high dose of aldicarb, CU says.
11. Tomatoes - high in chlorpyrifos or other pesticide residues
12. Cantaloupe - high in chlorpyrifos or other pesticide residues

Mimi is wearing size 6 months clothes and shoes. She can roll over from back to tummy very well, but only from tummy to back occasionally. She sleeps 11-12 hours a night without waking to eat. I know that the books say that at 6 months, they should only sleep 6 hours without eating--but if you have seen photos of her you know she's not starving! Plus the dr. said that was fine. She takes 1 long nap (2 hours) and 1-2 short 40-minute naps a day. When she is awake she wants to be entertained so I get very little done. I gave up on that awhile ago. Mimi loves to go out. When we take her anyway she behaves better than at home. She looks around at everything and interacts with people. One issue we are dealing with is her hating the carseat and riding in the car. She fusses and cries most of the time unless she is full and warm, then she fall asleeps. I installed the Britax Marthon carseat rear-facing in my car, but we still use the infant carseat in my husband's car.

I am doing awesome. I am 5 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight and one pants size smaller than my pre-pregnancy size--so the saggy belly does subside EVENTUALLY!! I hurt my knee two weeks ago so I haven't been able to walk much and I still lost weight! Breastfeeding ROCKS!

Today we are going to buy our Christmas tree and put is up. We're going to try to take a nice family photo in front of it for our Christmas/Holiday cards. Our Christmas shopping is almost done. I have had more fun buying stuff for my friends baby than anything else. Mimi doesn't need anything, so I only bought her some books and a jacket. We'll see what the grandparents send--I'm sure she'll have some wrapping paper to eat.

Good luck to all those pregnant ladies about to pop and good tidings to all those with little ones. Post cute santa photos!

Oh--I turned 28 yesterday---my twenties are almost over! Yikes.

Happy Holidays!

Who do you take advice from?

Be careful who you take advice from when it comes to your child. I just watched this girl's vlog--and she is throwing out all kinds of incorrect information.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjxMGEH_IhA

"Buy Soy milk, most babies can't handle the proteins in cow's milk. Babies aren't supposed to have cow's milk period."--that's quite a statement considering you have no factual information to support this statement.

First off, there are milk allergies and lactose intolerance. See the difference:

Milk allergy is when your baby's immune system reacts to proteins in milk. This only effects between two per cent and seven per cent of babies.

Lactose intolerance is when your baby has difficulty digesting the lactose, or the sugar, found in milk. This is much rarer than milk allergy.


"If I were you I would just go out and buy soymilk.."
WHY? The Department of Health and the British Dietetic Association do not recommend soy formula for babies under six months.

Studies have shown that the aluminum contamination in soy formula's are 3 times as high as cow's milk formulas.
Cadmium was 6 times higher in soy formulas than cow's milk formulas.
Eklund G and Oskarsson A. Exposure of cadmium from infant formulas and weaning foods. Food Addit Contam 16(12):509-19 (1999).

The widespread use of soy-based formula, beginning in the 1970s, is a likely explanation for the increase in early maturation in girls.
Herman-Giddens ME and others. Secondary Sexual Characteristics and Menses in Young Girls Seen in Office Practice: A Study from the Pediatric Research in Office Settings Network. Pediatrics, 1997 Apr;99:(4):505-512.

There are hundreds of other studies like these---Not to mention soybeans as an agricultural crop are sprayed with a lot of pesticides. A large % of soy is genetically modified and it also has one of the highest percentages of contamination by pesticides of any our our foods (followed closely by apples and tomatoes).

I'm not saying soymilk is bad for babies, I'm just saying do some research before you switch your baby to it. Talk to your doctor--

"If your baby is contipated, has diarhea, or acts like she doesn't want to eat...switch to soy formula..."

These are also all symptoms of gas in infants:

• Burping/belching
• Flatulence (passing gas)
• Abdominal bloating or distension
• Abdominal pain or cramps
• Vomiting or spitting up (posseting)
• Diarrhea
• Constipation
• Crying
• Sleep disturbances

Don't just run out and switch to soy if your baby is overly fussy one night. If you see blood or mucus in your babie's stool--call your doctor--this is a symptom of an allergy to milk protein.

I think the only thing I agreed with her on is using the liquid formula when possible instead of powder--but not for the reason she mentioned--but because the FDA pointed out that powdered infant formulas are not commercially sterile products. Powdered milk-based infant formulas are heat-treated during processing, but unlike liquid formula products they are not subjected to high temperatures for sufficient time to make the final packaged product commercially sterile.

To top this blog off--I have never used formula, so I'm not speaking from experience, I'm posting information from scientific research.

Just because you throw up a disclaimer saying "i'm not a doctor but here's my advice" doesn't mean your information couldn't hurt people.

I would post a response directly to her, but she doesn't post any comments that are in any way negative to her--which I also think is counter productive. Also, she tends to take advice that is opposite as hers as a personal attack--which is not the case at all. Friendly debate is a healthy and informative way to exchange information.

Happy Thanksgiving

Well--Mimi's first Thanksgiving! What a crazy week it has been. My mom was visiting this week with her boyfriend. Add that to the fact that my husband's friend has been staying in our house for 2 months now--and remind yourself that our house is only 975 sq ft--and remember we have a 72 lb lab and oh don't forget the baby and all her associated baby STUFF! Yikes--it's been a little crazy.

We went to the natural history museum in town and wanted to see the butterfly rainforest but it was raining and we were told the butterflies would not be flying--we contented ourselves with walking around campus and seeing the other exhibits. We also took Mimi to the mall to sit on Santa's lap---what a ham she was smiling away. She even grabbed Santa's (real) beard! Poor santa, she has quite the grip.

Tonite we had an awesome dinner with all the usual fixins. I walked 3 miles with my friend earlier in the day to combat the extreme overeating I did! It was worth it. I haven't had that much to eat since I was 9 months pregnant!

I've had some other parenting woes on my mind. I've been applying for jobs lately and even though I haven't even gotten the interviews yet, I cry at the thought of putting Mimi a daycare 40 hours a week. Just typing this makes me want to cry. This is strange to me because I always knew I did not want to be a stay at home mom--even though it is a perfectly respectable job--I have been going to school (college) for 10 YEARS now (holy shit!), and thought I might like to use my Bachelors, Masters, and soon my Doctorate. But just the thought at actually having to be away from her all day everyday makes me scared and sad. I was playing on putting her in parttime daycare next semester until I find a full-time job. This would be a nice transition--hopefully that will work out.

Does anyone else ever get slightly jealous when someone else at your office has a newborn and your kid isn't the only infant around? This sounds so conceited, but this other phd student recently had a baby and I thought to myself---oh no, no one will care about Mimi anymore! I know this sounds so bad, i'm just being honest.

My other woe is how fast Mimi is growing up! She had her 4 month appointment and was 17lbs and 25 inches! She is the size of a 6 month old. She already wears 6 months clothes as well. She can roll from back to stomach and visa versa. She can't sit up unsupported, but loves to sit up and hold her own head up when you hold her. She hates to be held in the cradle position unless she's nursing or sleeping. She's not my little tiny baby anymore. This is why women keep having more babies! lol

She still is only getting breastmilk but the Dr. told me to gradually introduce solids ( i was surpriesed) because she doens't thrust her tongue out when you put a spoon in her mouth and she is drooling. I give her about a Tablespoon once a day or every other day at dinner time. The Dr. says it is not for nutrition, but for practice. She said it might also help her poop more regularly. It's messy but fun. I'll post pics.

I'm looking forward to christmas and all its associated fun events. I hope everyone is well.

What's in my diaper bag?

Mimi and Mommy update

I love my daughter's crazy hair

Having some of momma's water, like the tongue in the bottle? nice eh?

Mimi and Mommy at the Fall Art Festival

Holds her own bottle!

I have finally accepted that I can't get schoolwork done during the day while I'm home with Mimi. Now that I have accpeted this fact, I LOVE spending my days with her. I just do my work at night when she goes to bed or in the evening when my husband is home.

Mimi is an awesome little girl. She if growing like weed. I don't know her weight or length because she goes for her 4-month apt. next week. She is still only on breastmilk, and no solids yet. She sleeps all night, only waking up a night a few times a week to eat. She takes 2-3 naps a day, usually two 1 to 2 hour naps. She still sleeps in her crib. She has rolled, laughed, and held her own bottle all in this week! Holy crap. No diaper rashes yet either. She is in 6 month clothes in most brands (and she's not even 4 months officially yikes!), and she's got the most adorable crazy hair.

Life is stressful for me--going to school remains to be a struggle. My husband is so supportive though--he helps out with the baby so much--wish he would help more with housework. I don't get out much these days but that's okay--not like I have money to anyway lol.

I applied for a job last week, i'll know in a few weeks if I even get an interview. If I get it, life will definately be changing. It the salary is enough I may consider using a nanny instead of daycare for awhile, maybe until Mimi is one year. We'll see what happens.

I am still right at my pre-pregnancy weight but I want to lose more. I did lunges, crunches, pushups and squats at the gym last night and almost fell down the stairs from jelly legs! If you have never expereinced this go to about 30 or so lunges and you'll feel it.

Getting SO excited about the holidays. I LOVE christmas. I can't wait to put Mimi in her xmas dress! Sorry for the erratic typing-it's 2am and I have to get to bed, just trying to throw out a quick blog.

Comment if you read my blog, love to see who reads it.

Jen

Travelling to my Hometown

I did something most people thought I was crazy for---I took an airplane trip alone with a 3 1/2 month old baby. It was a little crazy, but a great visit to NY, where I grew up.

We left on Friday and drove to Jacksonville (1 1/2 hour drive) and Mimi slept all the way. Getting my stuff into the airport and checked was a little crazy. I had a large duffle, a diaper bag, and Mimi's carseat. Once I got the duffle and carseat checked it wasn't too bad. It sucks that you have to pay $15 to check your bag. At least the carseat was checked for free. Mimi stayed awake all day on the plane just checking people out. We arrived in Buffalo around 7 pm and got some AWESOME pizza. You forget how good pizza is in western NY. Pizza in FL SUCKS. Mimi went to bed and slept all night in my friend's pack in play.

We spent the entire next day travelling around visiting. That night we went to my mom's and spent the rest of the weekend there.

On the way home Mimi was so pleasant on the flights. I have to say I was very impressed with Airtran. They gave me my own row on all my flights, even though I only bought one seat, they were more than accomdating and polite, can't beat the price ($150 round trip), and the flight attendants even warmed up my bottles ( I pumped a bottle before I left monday morning for the flight). Nursing in the airport and on the plane went fine. I figure--they can be offended by my exposed boob or be offended when my child screams.

Mimi is doing great these days. She can settle herself to sleep sometimes, she still sleeps all night and she is holding her body weight up really well. She goes for her 4 month apt. at Thanksgiving.

I am still at my pre-preggo weight-hopefully I'll go below it soon.


Hope everyone else is well.

Happy Halloween and such!

We are into the fall holidays! Yes I am so excited! I love the fall to winter holiday season.

Yesterday we took Mimi to "Boo at the Zoo" with my friend Grace and her daughter Dahlia. Poor Dahlia was tired and it was sooo hot, so she didn't have too much fun. Mimi LOVED it. She had her eyes wide open looking around the entire time! My husband thinks it is a waste of time to take her places because she is too little to enjoy things---that's crap, Mimi didn't cry or fuss and she didn't even fall asleep. She looked around with so much curiosity. I need to make an effort to take her out more. We "dressed" her up as a bunny--which was really just a white gerber onesie with a bunny hat. I did this for two reasons--I'm too cheap to spend 30 dollars on a costume that she won't remember and two costumes for babies are sooo hot--they're practically fleecy sleepers and it was over 90 yesterday. So go ahead and think i'm cheap---I saved 30 bucks and she didn't overheat.

In other news....
I have one pound left to lose! Yeah, most of my pants fit and i'm not even really trying. Imagine how awesome my weight loss would be if I didn't eat fun size snickers and junk? Yeah for breastfeeding!

My husband is going to NYC today for work and will be back Tuesday, I am so desperate without him--being a single parent would SUCK. I'm taking Mimi to NY next weekend for 4 days to see friends and family. I'm excited but a little worried about travelling alone with her on the plane and in the car. We;ll see--she usually is pretty chill when I need her to be. I'll let you know how that goes. This time I am travelling lite! I learned from the trip to Portland--the less you carry with the baby the better.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!
:-)

In other news--Mimi is sleeping 10 hrs a night, breastfeeding is good, and we laid her down awake today and she went to sleep all by herself without crying!

Random Post

Loves sticking out her tongue these days...

Like her earings? Daddy put them on her.

Today I feel crazy and stressed. I think I really took too much on this semester. I am taking two classes (one of which i'm really behind in) and teaching a class. Normally when I lecture I am super prepared, never flustered and totally put together, but lately, I'm always running late, I mis-speak all the time, I am always looking like a bum with wet hair and acne. Life is just nuts.

Why is god cursing me with acne at age 27? It's kind of a cruel joke. Having a baby really wrecked my body. My hair is falling out, my skin is breaking out, and I have this AWESOME saggy belly. Don't get me wrong--Mimi is worth all of that. But---that doesn't change me feeling down about how I look these days. Anybody got a cure for hormonal acne that's not birth control?
---a side note on birth control---I started taking the "mini pill" last month that is safe for breastfeeding and I've forgotten it 5 times this month! Let's just say I told my husband not to count on me for the birth control!

I really want to just go get a full-time job so I can work my 8 hours then come home and focus on Mimi and my husband and just spend time as our little family. Increasing our family finances would be nice, however that really hasn't been a big issue-we pay our bills, we put food on the table, we take the occasional trip....Boy would I love to be able to afford to go back to having a personal trainer to whip my ass into shape.

My friend Grace, who has a 16 month old daughter is in the interviewing process for jobs. I am jealous in a way. Although I'm not ready to get a job just yet--I still love being home with Mimi. I like that it's ME who watches her grow and sees all of her firsts---still waiting for that first giggle though! I try everyday--I've had squeals but no giggles!

Enough bitching and moaning---positive stuff

Mimi is adorable healthy gorgeous and fun. I can't wait every morning to go into her room when she wakes up. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night and very rarely wakes up at night to feed anymore. She has been sleeping in her crib since about 3 weeks old. It's so weird, I had the co-sleeper and she HATED it. I thought, well maybe she just needs to be with me and hates to be put down, but no, she would easily go to her crib. I didn't think infants liked that, all the people I knew with babies used their co-sleepers for months. Mimi is about 14 lbs now. She wears 3-6 month clothes, but Gap stuff she can still wear 0-3. She is still nursing well and takes bottles for 1-2 feedings a day. She eats 3-4 oz at each feeding. She smiles and coos, but hasn't laughed yet. She can grab toys and grip them but has trouble letting go. Sometimes she gets ahold of her own hair and can't let go. She hasn't rolled over yet, but has really impressive head control. She loves her play mat and will entertain herself for awhile when she's full and rested. She recognizes my husband and I and smiles when she sees us. She is kind of fussy when other people hold her but I think that's just cause she nurses so much that she's a mommy's girl. Mimi did great on our trip to Portland and I'm taking her to NY next weekend to see my mom.

I can go eight hours at night without pumping--then I give in because i'm so engorged. My supply is still really good, I pump 2 more bottles a day than Mimi eats. Our freezer is kind of full--but I don't want to let my supply go down because what if she needs more later and I can't produce enough? So I reluctanly had to take my pump with me to Portland--and i'll have to take it to NY< style="font-style: italic;">for this reason alone really wanted to give up nursing anyway, the dairy thing just gave them an excuse they don't feel guilty about. Nursing is hard work--I have had moments where I say to myself, life would be so easy if I was a formula feeder right now....but I keep at it--I'm trying my best to give Mimi the best start I can, she deserves that. I don't feel like I'm better than anyone else--I just feel proud that I stuck it out. When Mimi is upset and I nurse her she calms down and her entire body relaxes--nursing is more than feeding your child--they get so much more from it then food. If you're nursing--stick it out--you can do it! If you're pregnant go into nursing prepared with a positive attitude and a tube of lanolin!

Let me see...other vents?
I've been following some new girls vlogs on youtube---don't think i'm a bum who sits on youtube all day--I don't have cable--so I watch vlog while I nurse--I nurse every 3 hours for an half hour--you do the math. This on girl is having another baby and her child is I think 6 months--I don't know how she can handle it--I feel like each week I'm holding on by a thread. God bless her, I"m excited to follow. One of my other fav..Umbumgo is having another baby--this women cracks me up--I love listening to her accent and how blunt she is about stuff.

Forgot to mention==we took Mimi to the pumpkin patch with her friend Dahlia--i'll post photos, they were so cute together.

Family at the pumkin patch. Mimi eating Dahlia's arm--yum yum yum

Little Buddies :-)

Travelling with Baby

Family Trip to Portland with little Mimi ;-)

Mimi and Grandma at Widmer Brewery in Portland, where my brother works.

Us at Cannon Beach
Mimi and Daddy at the park one morning

So it's been awhile since I have made a blog post. Life is crazy. I don't know what I was thinking going to school, teaching, working on my dissertation and staying home with little Mimi. When this semester ends I think I might go into a coma!

So in the craziness of our life, we took a long weekend trip to Portland Oregon. My brother has lived there for 2 years and was graduating from culinary school. I was a little worried how Mimi would do on the trip. She is just over 3 months now. She caught a cold (from me :-() about a day or two before we left. I thought, great, the one time we actually go somewhere (and on a an airplane) and the poor kid gets her first cold. As soon as we saw her nose was runny we starting using the "little noses" non-medicated saline drops. I was surprised how well she did with us squirting this stuff up her noise every hour or two. We also elevated her crib mattress and put a vaporizer in her room. I use a vaporizer because we live in Florida and a cool mist humidifier does nothing because our air is already so humid.

I was also worried that with the change in time (we went from eastern to pacific) that her sleep would be all messed us. I also had this fear that as soon as we boarded the plane she would be screaming and everyone would hate us. But...to my surprise Mimi was a DREAM on the flights. I nursed her off and on and she sleep and never made a peep. People complimented us on how quiet she was.

While in Portland we did a ton of walking ans site seeing. The first day my brother took us out to Cannon Beach, which was AMAZING, that is where they filled the beach scenes from the Goonies (80's movie I loved as a kid). One of the days we were the our friend Michael and his girlfriend came up to meet us. He lived about 1 1/2 hours away. We shopped the markets, saw the river walk, ate a delicious restaurants, my brother cooked for us...just a great trip all around. The weather was misty and cool. This is exciting for us, as New Yorkers transplanted to Florida 6 years ago we were excited to wear jacketes and sweaters for a weekend. It was really fun to bundle Mimi up in hats and sweaters too. She was such a doll the whole trip. She just rode along in her snugli carrier and got spoiled with kisses from Grandma.

Mimi all bundled sleeping in her Snugli carrier

My brother seemed so happy there, it was great to see him. The only drawback to the trip is we go almost no rest. We were going going going from the night we got there. We stayed at a really nice hotel right on pioneer square. It was called The Nines, got a great deal with Expedia.

This is Mimi and Daddy chillin' in the hotel watching Star Trek

I think we may consider moving to Portland in a few years. Such a clean nice city. Very environmentally conscience people, great natural landscapes, great food.

I could go on more about Portland but Mimi is growing bored of her playmat. She last a solid 20-30 minutes on that thing though---I'm glad my friend Grace lent it to me because I would not have paid 60 bucks for one!The loaner play mat she loves

Advice for travelling with kids:
Travel Lite!
Be prepared for the worst (explosive poops on airplane, extra clothes, etc)
Be Flexibe

Hope everyone is well! Sorry for the crazy random sentence structure post--gotta run.
Jen

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

As you guys know, I am a youtube junky, It seems the preggo and post-preggo girls are exchanging some heated words about breastfeeding vs bottle feeding (with formula). Here's my two cents.

I guess only 1-cent because I only give Mimi breastmilk. Now before you go and tag me as a crazy breastfeeding advocate hear me out on what I think are the pros and cons.

First off, a little background on my breastfeeding. I had a c-section with little Mimi because she was breech. About a hour or two after she was born they brought her to me in recovery and my husband said "the nurse said she was hungry, you should feed her." My thoughts on breastfeeding before I gave birth were, I'll try it out but i'm not going to feel like a bad parent if it doesn't work out. I had a breastpump and bottles and planned on pumping and eventually giving her breastmilk in bottles after good nursing habits and supply had been established. Breastfeeding for me kind of worked out just like a textbook. I breastfed in the hospital with no problems, had tons of colostrum, and arrived home 4 days post partum with my milk coming in. The first two weeks of nursing were HARD AS HELL. It was frustrating being the ONLY ONE that could feed the baby. The pediatrician told me not to introduce a bottle for 4-6 weeks. It was very demanding. She ate every 2-3 hours. Luckily, she did not fall asleep eating, so I didn't' have issues about constantly trying to wake her while nursing.

During the first two weeks, besides the sleep deprivation, my nipples hurt so badly it would bring me to tears when she latched. Lactation consultants will tell you, "if they are latched right, it shouldn't hurt." Okay, there's something sucking and chaffing on your nipple for 30 minutes to an hour 6-8 times a day, and your nipples aren't supposed to hurt? Give me a break lactation lady! I think this is the breaking point, if you make it through this two weeks of tear jerking latching, and you don't' have supply issues, you're golden.

I love nursing Mimi, most of the time...I lay in bed with her and stroke her soft hair while she quietly nurses, it's beautiful, I can see why some moms hate to give it up when their kids get older. I think about the gift of a healthy start i'm giving her, helping her digestive system function well and helping her stave off flus and oclds from my antibodies. I love knowing when I nurse her she feels close and sercure and loved. I love that she needs me. And let's not forget the fact that formula costs a fortune!

BUT---there are some moments where I realize how much work it is to nurse. First off, I produce too much milk, which I know I'm lucky for this---but I have to pump anytime Mimi goes more than 4 hours without eating. So that means, now that she sleeps through the night--I still can't. If I dont' get up by 3 or 4am to pump, I wake up in a pool of my own breastmilk with rock hard breasts. I also spend my days sterilizing, pumping, labelling and freezing milk and bottles. I guess I should feel lucky that I'm not all bottle feeding--sterilizing is time consuming. I also hate that none of my normal bras fit, except my ugliest of nursing bras! It's hard enough to bring romance back into your marriage after a baby, some more attractive nursing bras would help--Also, by nursing, you are still having to watch everything you eat or any medications you take. Everything you eat or drink goes to the baby. So after giving up your body as an incubator for 10 months, your diet and social drinking is still on house arrest.

Nursing also takes loads of time. The amount of breastmilk Mimi drinks from me vs the bottle may take 30 minutes of nursing vs 10 minutes of bottle feeding. Although she is much less fussy and gassy when doing long nursing sessions vs fast bottle feeds. Also I've noticed that when I'm with her all day with no breaks, just nursing with no bottle feedings, she gets sooooo attached with me that she will fuss if anyone else holds her. This is very flattering, but very frustrating.

Overall, I think I made a good choice "for me and my family." Yes I am sometimes inconvenienced, but I am doing something that is natural and healthy for me and my baby. If I wasn't ready to be selfless than I shouldn't have had a baby. I was/am very lucky. I had no supply issues, latching issues, dietary issues. So my advice may seem smug is you are dealing with one of the above, I'm sorry for that. My daughter is definitely teaching me to be more patient.

I'll talk later about my pump, the pumping products I prefer, the bottle Mimi prefers etc, if anyone wants.

Happy Birthday Franco!

Today is my husband's 28th Birthday! Franco's friend Matt is staying with us while he looks for a job and apt. here in town (probably worth another blog post for my feelings on this), so last night I cooked him a big spaghetti and meatball dinner and made him his favorite dessert--Carrot Cake. Him and his friend went out to a bar afterwards and I stayed home with Mimi. The recipe I used came out so moist and delicious! Here's a link to the Recipe:
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Carrot-Cake-III/Detail.aspx
I substituted 3/4 cup canola + 1/2 cup applesauce instead of the oil amount they suggested,I added a few more spices (more nutmeg/cinnamin type spices) I also added 1 cup crushed pineapple with the juice squeezed out, and I added a couple tablespoons of pineapple to the icing instead of vanilla. If you like carrot cake give this one a try. Now that I've been making cakes from scratch each time I hate eating cakes from a box. I'm become a cake snob, geesh I know. I aslo made some really good chocolate drop cookies, I found the recipe in Marth Stuart's Magazine, I guess she has a cookbook of just cookies and this was a sample of the recipes, the came out great and were very chocolatey and delicious! I'll post the recipe if anyone is interested.

So I let my husband sleep in, Mimi fell asleep last night at 11, and she woke up at 7:35, which I'm cool with. She's been sleeping through the night (8-9) hours consistently now with 2 long naps in the day as well. Tonite I have a babysitter coming over that I hired last week and we're all going out for dinner and drinks with 10 or so friends. That is all F wanted to do for his birthday was go out for drinks.

My friend Grace thinks i'm crazy for leaving Mimi with a babysitter that I just met. I posted an ad on this site called Sittercity (sittercity.com), and then 20 or girls responded to my ad. You can go and check their profiles with contain info about them, their experience with kids, their preferences (# of kids, pet friendly, rate they charge, etc), and then their contact info. I spoke to 3 of them on the phone then had each of them come over to meet me and Mimi for an hour or so. I'm going to have each of them babysit once and see how it goes. Then I'll probably pick a fav. I think I know who my fav is already, but I'm gonna give each girl a chance. Most of them are nursing majors from the local college.

Well, everything else is going pretty well. We're getting into a good routine, Franco is a fabulous father and great at taking care of little Mi, the weather is finally cooling down. This month is so busy, F is going to San Franciso for a week for work, we're going to Portland for my brother's graduation from culinary school, and Matt is living with us in our tiny house! Busy Busy. I still have those last stubborn 5 lbs, but I haven't really had time to work out, hopefully I'll make time in schedule for that now that I don't get interupted sleep at night.

I'm going to do a video soon of Mimi's nursery and some products I like and products I think are a waist of money.

Thanks to everyone that reads and comments.

Infants and Television

I am so happy I shut off my cable two years ago. I'm happy for several reasons...
1. I don't waste 4 or more hours of my day on my ass in front of my TV anymore
2. We save 1200 dollars a year on not paying for cable.
3. I actually enjoy sitting and watching a movie now, because I don't do it that often.
4. My child won't grow up with a television on in the background ALL THE TIME

I can't stand people who throw their infant in front of the television. A child under 2 shouldn't watch television, and children over 2 should only watch 30 minutes or less of TV a day. I can't tell you how many people I've babysat for that use their television as a babysitter. I don't want my kids growing up addicted to television, eating in front of the television, etc. My opinion on this is shaped by own experience as child, where I watched TV from the time I got home from school until when I went to bed. I ate my meals in front of a television as well. I think that these habits in part contributing to some of my issues with food, including mindless eating and compulsive finishing, and also my level of inactivity as a young adult, all of which contributed to my overweight status.

Turn off the TV, take your kid outside for a walk.

My little chatty Cathy :-)

My little Mi is over 2 months and almost 14 lbs!! Holy crap. She's doing great. This weekend has been so amazing. Saturday morning we all woke up and played in bed together. She is staying up so much longer now. In the mornings she is so rested and happy, she makes faces and plays around for hours. It is so nice to have my husband home with us on the weekends. She's holding her head up amazingly and getting really strong. She is vocalizing so much more now, i'll post a video of her being chatty last night.

F and I went to see the Gators play again yesterday. We kicked Tennessee's little orange and white butts! It's funny, the University sent out an email to tell fans to wear Blue (we are Orange and Blue), because TN's colors are orange and white. It was hella hot at the stadium. The student section isn't shaded, so we sat in the sun from 3pm-7pm, needless to say we forgot sunscreen! Oops! We look like tourists with our sunglass tan lines now. Our friends Christy and Ashley watched Mimi for us, they claim she was an angel, thank god, I always pray that she's not being "Mimi the Miserable" for other people, when she gets like that nursing is really the only calming thing.

Breastfeeding is still going really well. For a mostly-nursed baby, I feel like i'm always sterilizing bottles! She gets my frozen milk via the bottle when I'm away or need a break. I use a Medela double electric breastpump, which seems to work really well. I can pump 8-10 ounces in about 5 minutes. My friend used the Medela Swing, which is the single (less powerful I think) electric breastpump. She didn't have the same speedy pumping I have, don't know if it was her supply issues, or a weaker pump, but mine works great. Sometimes I think I have overactive letdown because if she unlatched my milk will spray her in the face, nice eh? I continue to be thankful that breastfeeding is comfortable for both of us and that I have an adequate supply. I generally have about 20 bags of milk (4-5oz) in the freezer. I'm also really thankful to not have to buy formula!

Going to school while taking care of Mimi almost full time has been really stressful. I constantly feel like i"m playing catch-up and constantly feel like I;m letting someone down in some way. Next semester will be easier, I am only TAing one class. I envy mom's who can stay home full time and still have adequate finances. I get to stay home with Mi, but I have to work while i'm at home writing and taking online classes and I leave for one class on T/TH. People always ask me, is it hard taking care of her? and I say--no, taking care of her is not too difficult, it's taking care of her AND going to school AND teaching AND writing my dissertation that is hard. Mimi is a good baby and a joy to be around, even when she' "Mimi the Miserable."

I love her more and more and more everyday! I love watching her grow and change and we're enjoying every minute. She's out of her 0-3 month clothes so it's kind of fun putting her new stuff on her.

Thanks to everyone who reads and comments. Ask is you have any questions!

Bye

She's Gaining, I'm Losing!

Hey Guys,

I put this cute sleeper on Mimi today before bed and realized it is the last time she'll probably wear it! Her feet hung about 3 inches out of the bottom of the feet! Good thing they are footless jammies! I can't belive that she's two months old this wednesday.

I had kind of a scare today, I woke up with a really sore throat and feeling really run down. I thought, oh no, I must have caught a bug being on campus or something, hopefully not swine flu! I quickly too my temperature, which was normal and was careful not to kiss the baby at all today. That made me so sad, one of the best things is kissing her fat little face. I was even more diligent with hand washing, which I wash my hands so much as it is that my skin is dry and cracking on my hands--which shouldn't happen in the middle of summer in FL! Hopefully it was just a scratchy throat from the fan blowing on my face at night and my asthma meds. I'm going to keep taking my temperature and avoid kissing her fat little face I guess for awhile.

I have only gotten to go running twice in the last week and a half. It's really hard to get out of the house to run while F is with her when it's not 90 degrees out. I guess I should start going to the gym. They have a free daycare at our gym for babies 6 weeks and older. It looks very clean and well staffed, but with the number of cases of this H1N1 flu in our city I think it's best to just leave her at home with F and get to the gym alone when I can or run on the track.

Breastfeeding continues to go pretty well, I had some pains in my breasts today and thought maybe the run down feeling I have in conjunction with the breast pain might be mastitis, but I don't have fever or any redness. My supply is dropping back a little, which is nice because before I would leak a lot and wake up at night saturated in breastmilk. Now I seem to produce what she needs plus an extra bottle or maybe two bottles (4-5 oz) a day. That is fine with me. I have over 20 bags of milk (4-5 oz) bags in the freezer now. I try to replace what bottles get used each day, plus pump with the medela pump one more bottle at least for backup. I just want to have enough extra milk so that if I had to take a medication or something that wasn't safe for breastmilk Mimi could still get exclusively breastmilk.

I think breastfeeding really helps with weightloss. Still have 5 lbs left to lose to my pre pregnancy weight, which I think is awesome for 8 weeks. I am happy with my progress so far. I hope to continue to lose past that weight because I was a little overweight before becoming pregnant.

This week was a really hard week. I'm getting really overwhelmed with schoolwork, housework and staying home with Mimi. I had a little breakdown about it today with my husband. He reminded me this is the last semester I have to take any classes and next semester will be better. He's right, just need to make it through the next few months.

Hope all is well, congrats to Courtney and her little baby Sophie! She's adorable! Can't wait to hear how her birth went.

7 Weeks Old

Hey Guys,

Wow, my little Mimi is 7 weeks old and a whopping 13 lbs. Can you believe that? That means she has gained 1lb a week for the last 4 weeks. This seems a little too fast. I think the Dr. told us she should gain 1 oz a day, so that should be about 1/2 lb a week. Am I over feeding? Or is she just a big girl? She has been receiving breastmilk exclusively, both from nursing and from a bottle. I've noticed with bottle feeding, she will actually stop eating and purse her lips shut when she's full, and with nursing, she'll get disinterested and stop actively eating when she is full. Also, when she's full from breastfeeding she won't fuss if you remove her from the breast. So I guess she is normal as far as weight. I'm 5'10" and so if my husband. My husband is an average weight, and if you've followed my posts before, you know i'm a little overweight. Mimi is also growing out of some of her 0-3 months clothes :-( This kind of makes me sad, she's growing so fast.

Speaking of the weight....I only have 5.5 lbs left to lose! (to reach my pre-preggo weight). I have started running again, I've run twice, but I walked 2 miles the with the baby the days I did not run. I cut 30 seconds of my mile the 2nd time I ran too. My husband says i'm looking slimmer, but I think he's just buttering me up because he wants sex, lol. That might be too much info for you, but If you've had a baby and know how exhausted you are you can imagine how uninterested you would be in sex.

One last thought of the day...

Did you ever have friends that you kind of force a friendship with? You know you have them over and you have forced polite conversation, they have you over etc., but it never just happens naturally? The conversation feels too polite and forced and you find yourself holding back your comments because you don't have a very open friendship with these people? My husband had a classmate from one of his grad classes come over for dessert last night. What possessed him to invite people over in the middle of the week during "Mimi the Miserable" time is beyond me....so this couple just moved around the corner from us and stopped by at 9pm for dessert. Luckily Mimi was pretty chill, otherwise the situation would have been worse. They had some drinks and I had made a pie, and we sat at the table and had forced polite conversation. The guy is a nice enough guy but kind of full of himself, and the girlfriend seems sweet, but really doesn't have much to talk about. They kept saying, "when do you guys want to come over!? tomorrow? this weekend?" and we were like "yeah we'll have to come by soon and see your place." It really seemed they wanted to be friends with us more than us with them...so do we keep doing the polite forced friendship and see if it grows into something? I mean I'm not really looking to make new buddies, I barely get to spend time with friends after having the baby anyway. Anyone else know what i'm talking about?

Mimi has her 2 month dr. apt next week I think, and she's getting shots. We purposely picked this dr. because they let you spread out the shots if your baby isn't in daycare. So I'm not sure exactly what shots she'll get. Also I'm not sure whether to give her a flu shot or not. Any opinions on flu shots for 2 month olds? I'm going to get one because i'm on campus a lot and I ride the bus to campus.

Leave a comment if you have a story about forced friendships or vaccines or anything. I'd like to know what others think.

Weight, Running and of course GO GATORS!

Hey guys,

I love that my husband has off on Monday, it means that I will be able to get some work done with little Mimi having daddy to play with too!

So this weekend marks two firsts--It was the first time I have gone running since I was 5 months pregnant, and it was my first Gators Game! I have been a season ticket holder for the last two years, but sold my tickets to a coworker who wasn't able to get a season pass. This year I got a season pass for me and I was able to take a copy of my marriage license to the ticket office and get a season pass for my husband as well. So Saturday was the opening game. My friend Dana offered to watch Mimi for us. I was nervous--and not nervous that Dana wouldn't be a good sitter, I was nervous FOR Dana, because Mimi turns into "Mimi the Miserable" around 8pm until she finally goes to bed between 10 and 11pm, and the game was at 7pm (about a 3 hour game). So I warned Dana of the appearance of "Mimi the Miserable," but she assured me she had seen worse. So we dropped Mimi off at 5:30 armed with a bouncy seat, bottles, clothes, blankets, diaper, wipes, etc etc...gosh kids have so much crap! We actually left the game early (after 1/2 time) because we were beating poor Charleston Southern 43 to 3, we grabbed a snack on our way back to Dana's and were there by about 10pm. Dana and her boyfriend looked a little frazzled, and really happy to see we were there to take Mimi the Miserable home I think! We'll see if Dana ever offers to babysit again! lol.

So, the other first...Saturday afternoon I found dug out the ol' running garb, grabbed a liter of water and some sunscreen and I hit the track near my house. Before I give you the details of my very short run, please remember that I just had a baby 7 weeks ago and haven't run since I was 5 months preggo. I set our to run 2 miles, which I thought might ease me back into the sport that I love but my body hates. Well let's just say I ran 1 mile (in 14:25 holy crap that's horribe) and it started to sprinkle. My joints ached, my chest ached (not to self bring inhaler next time), and I decided to throw in the towel. Some observations from my post-preggo run: Need a tighter sports bra and should definitely use the pump right before I run, need some new running shoes with some more cushion (my joints ached), and finally, even though i'm only 8lbs away from my pre-preggo weight, my body is far from my pre-preggo body! Before I fell pregnant (by the way I hate that expression, it makes pregnancy sound like an illness)I was actively trying (and succeeding) at losing weight. I have been overweight for awhile and had managed to lose 45 lbs in the 10 months leading up to our wedding. Shortly after we were married I became pregnant. I had been taking a combination cardio/weight training class 3 nights a week, plus running. I managed to keep this up until I was 5 months pregnant and got bronchitis and then asthma. Overall I gained 31 lbs in my pregnancy. When I was running I felt things "jiggling" I guess you would say, that never "jiggled" before. That in combination with the nice porn star boobs you get from breastfeeding, made the run feel a little funny. But, overall I feel really inspired to get back up to running my 2-3 miles 3 times a week, and eventually adding back in some weights too. I continue to lose the weight, about 1 or 2 lbs a week and I'm trying to eat healthy. Today I am letting my body rest (since I ran one mile then we walked a total of 3 miles to the stadium and back yesterdy), and tomorrow I'm going to put the shoes and sports braS back on and give it another go!

Time

I said to my husband yesterday as he was dropping me off on campus, I don't feel like there is enough time in the day. We were sitting in traffic, baby screaming in the backseat, both of us sleep deprived and he looked at me and said "I don't know if I want anymore kids." He later admitted he didn't mean it, but sometimes all the stress of being a parent to a newborn makes him think he wouldn't want to do it again. I know how he feels. You know when you have a baby that things are going to be rough, but I think both of us underestimated how truly difficult it would be.

Sleep deprivation obviously happens to both of you whether you are breastfeeding or not. My husband tends to be a light sleeper and one of those people, once woken up cannot go back to sleep. So even though I get up at night with our daughter, sometimes it wakes him up to, then he'll be off the entire day from waking up at 4 am and not going back to sleep. The sleep deprivation effects my stress level more than anything. When I'm rested I can handle "Mimi the Miserable" but when I'm not, I break down in tears sometimes at the stress of it all. I think the second most frustrating thing after chronic loss of sleep is the fact that there is no longer enough time for all other things in life. You slowly watch your house and your job fall to pieces, trying to catch up on the weekends from a week that went by so fast you couldn't even get laundry done.

Having my daughter has taught me to be more patient and lower my expectations. That was actually one piece of advice someone gave us "Lower your expectations." Accept that things won't always get done, life won't always be perfect, and overall you'll be a lot happier. I think this is somewhat true. I just take each day, one at a time, I do the best I can to be a good parent, wife, student, and friend. Some days I can do a lot, the house is clean, my daughter isn't covered in puke, there's food on the table and I manage to get some work done. Other days we're in our pj's till 2pm and I've had cereal for breakfast and lunch and dinner is looking like takeout.

When I kiss my daughters fat little cheeks and hear her coo, and I watch my husband talk to her and give her kisses it makes all the crap, all the stress, hell and all the money worth it!

I put up a photo of Mimi laying in the bathroom before her bath. She seems really happy to stare at the shower curtain and kick her legs. This last about 5 or 10 minutes. The other photo is her in her Halloween onesie that probably won't fit by Halloween!

6 Week Postpartum Check Up

I can't believe it has been almost 6 weeks since I had Mimi. I know everyone tells you the time flies when the baby comes but I never quite believed it until now. Everyday goes by so quickly and everyday she looks different to me. I'm happy my husband takes pictures like a Japanese tourist so we don't' miss anything! By the way--we are in search of an easy to use flash memory video camera---one that won't break the bank--any suggestions?

So today was my six week check following my C section. It's kind of weird because my entire pregnancy I was seen by the midwives, then BANG had to have the c section because Mimi was breach, and now I'm a patient of a Dr. I met twice--and one of those times was the c section itself. That was kind of sucky, because I don't know the nurses or their office staff or anything. I was like a stranger. But anyway...so I had to take Mimi with me because F was at work, I wish I hadn't, today I called her "Mimi the Miserable" because she was fussy all morning and wanted me to just hold her or move her around. I had to put her in the swing to take a shower before my apt and she screamed the entire time. I felt horrible, but what was I to do? I actually made it to the apt on time, which hasn't really been my MO, lately I've been that lady with a baby that is late for everything. The apt went fine, my incision is healed, I have 9 lbs left to lose, and it appears my hormones are still out of whack. The Dr. says that is what is causing the headaches, nightsweats and acne, LOVELY. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can really do until I stop breastfeeding and go back on regular birth control. Until then, she recommended I take the "mini pill", I forget the drug name. Basically it's a non-estrogen BC which doesn't affect breastmilk or your milk supply. I was thinking we'll just try the good ol' condoms, but that obviously didn't work because there is a 6 week old baby in my lap right now! lol. She also prescribed a new acne medication for me that is a combination of benzole peroxide and an antibiotic. Everything was A OK down there and my husband will be glad to hear we're back in business (not that I even have the energy). The Dr. also okayed me to start running and going to the gym again, but no weight lifting for awhile longer she said. She suggested I take a multi vitamin and an omega 3 supplement. The Dr. also mentioned if/when I have another baby I won't be able to use the midwives at that hospital, they don't work with pregnant moms who VBAC--no that's not very nice is it?

My other comment for the day is that today was the first day since having Mimi that I felt I couldn't give everyone 100%. I felt like I couldn't give my husband, my baby, my boss, my work, or my home 100% of what it needed. My husband was grumpy at me for waking him up this morning, my daughter cried in her swing so I could take shower, my house is a mess, hell I don't even get a chance to walk my dog anymore. I also am behind on my schoolwork already and it's only been one week! I could really use some encouragement--anyone else out there every feel like this?