One of the main reasons we quit our jobs and chose to move to another state was so that our little family could afford to have one parent be at home fulltime. My husband said "I want one of us to be at home, and I'll do it, but I'd rather it be you." Which didn't bother me, because between you and me he's not always all there watching her, lol. I mean, she survives, but she's usually in her pajamas and ate bananas and cheerios all day. Once he even took her to the playground barefoot. I digress....
Today was my *first* day alone with her 100% (well sort of). It was so tiring. There were so many times today that I rolled my eyes back on my head out of frustration and annoyance that I thought. "SHIT. What if I can't do this? What if I'm not good at being a full time SAHM!?" Mimi wasn't even bad today, she was just FULL OF ENERGY to the core from the minute she woke up. I did everything I could to keep her happy and active. We played tea party, we went to the park, we went to the grocery store with the free cookies and I drove the obscene cart with the steering wheels, we went swimming, we walked the dog....See? I tried really hard, and she still was crazy active. I found myself just wanting to sit for 20 minutes on the couch and read or watch part of a show, but she would just climb on me wanting the computer, wanting to change the channel, wanting to take my hand and lead me to a room to play..... I think we made the right decision, and I know that hands down I'm happier at home with her than working for the devil, but I'm kind of scared. Not to mention that we've been entertaining the idea of a 2nd baby, how could I be pregnant and exhausted and take care of the house and chase her like I had to today? I'm kind of scared to be honest. I guess I'll adjust and find ways to keep my sanity and be a good mom.
Some snapshots from our day......
4 comments:
oh boy. I don't have kids and cannot even imagine how it is to work and have a child or to stay home with a child. But I think it really depends on ur personality and who u are. Some people love staying at home with kids and some dont. I have a friend who has 18 months old toddler, and she works, but she also said that she needs her work for time that outdide of the house. And, i'm sure u will figure it out. And btw, I babysit, and you will see that your daughter might not be so energized every day. Kids like their time alone as well. I think;)Good luck
AMAZING pictures!!
your day sounds like mine, except mine has a lot less getting out of the house. but nope, there's no sitting to watch tv or computer because the baby climbs on you to destroy whatever you want to do. he takes my hand to lead me somewhere 40 times a day.
i've thought about those car-carts, but they're so big & i'm too intimidated to steer it!
my husband is the same way, he'll feed him nothing but strawberries all day and not have a second thought. his idea of "playing" is wrestling & tickling until somebody gets hurt, toys aren't even considered.
it's tiring & not always rewarding, but i bet mimi's loving seeing you this much!
I think you get used to it, I feel my mothering skills have decreased a lot sine going back to work. I used to be so on the ball and I am sure it will just take you some time to get into a routine.
Good luck!!
i'm so glad you blogged about this...i was seriously thinking i was the only mom who had these thoughts! i feel for you, i felt the exact same way when i left my job a month and a half ago to move to arizona for my husband's job. there are some days where its seriously a struggle for me to get motivated and at least try to keep up with my active 17 month old girl. i find myself questioning my abilities as a sahm about 400 times a day. and i feel so awful for that, you know? Like I feel terrible for wanting to read a book for 20 minutes while she plays by herself (which doesn't happen, lol.) but like you said, you just try to be a good mom to your child and that's how it is. sometimes you have to dig a little deeper, but those smiles and curious eyes of my daughter put things in perspective. you are a terrific mom and i'm sure it will get easier as the days go by! good luck :)
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