Okay so when I was nursing 24/7 at home with Mimi for 10 months, I got addicted to youtube moms and blogger. Seriously--I don't have cable and I would be up all night nursing etc, so I clicked, and watched, and commented and bonded with a few moms. In fact, there's a few moms I met through this community who I consider true friends and I feel very blessed to have come in contact with them. Some of them I've gone ahead and met "IRL" and others I hope to someday soon! But---with the kindred spirits I've found I've found some doozies that really entertain me. We all know that xxxjoelpolexxx can be very entertaining. Lately I've been marveling at how pregnant she looks like RIGHT AWAY (and I'm uber jealous at how awesome her stomach looks after 2 previous pregnancies) and also I've been marveling at her vocabulary. I think that I want to do a post just on the words she repeatedly uses that aren't even true words in the English language--maybe that are "texan" words. I digress----
This mom, "InformationMommy" formely know as "parkerfur" is self proclaimed educated expert on all things kid. I say this with sarcasm, because one, she never truly claims to be an expert, in fact, she always throws out that cover your ass disclaimer before she opens her mouth as to not offend people when she dumps her usually somewhat biased opinion on us, and 2, I don't really find her to be any sort of expert (are any of us really?). I like that she acknowledges that it is important to provide sources of information, but her sources aren't always respectable, and her research methods are often biased, which is frustrating and misleading. I do respect this woman in that she generally accepts criticism and nasty comments with grace and maturity. Last night I was relaxing and watching youtube (while my husband was studying for his interview! Yeah!) and I watched informationmommy's video mentioning something about "a troll" attacking her facebook. The trashy gossip spark in me ignited, I was like "ooooo wonder what the drama is." I found it.
I laughed so hard at this. Not because of the content, but because this Alyssa Grant women riled up some moms! Holy crap lol. This woman got exactly what she wanted--attention. Here is the link to the video Alyssa is criticizing by the way....
Do I dare comment on the content of what this woman said? Bring on my crucification....
I comment this because it has been on my mind A LOT lately. Why do we as couples decide to have children if we cannot afford to have one parent stay home (at least most of the time) and be the primary caretakers? I say decide, because Mimi wasn't a calculated decision. Mimi was a welcomed surprise (read birth control failure). Believe me, I completely understand that not all families can afford this luxury--me included right now. I gave this example to my friend Grace the other day....There's "can't afford to go out to dinner" and "can't afford food for dinner." We cannot afford to have me home full time not working. BUT--we are made very aware right now that one us should be home with Mimi while she is little (and our other children that are anticipated yet non-existent). We both agree that we will not have another baby until one us can be home at least most of the time.
When I sit down and think about this it makes my stomach turn--I leave my house at 7:30 am and come home at 5:30 (sometimes 6pm). Mimi wakes up at 7 and goes to bed by 7:30. She is at daycare from 8 to 5:30. 9.5 HOURS! During the week, I see her ~2 hours a day, the daycare lady sees her 9.5 hours a day. Just typing that out and saying in my head feels like a knife to my heart. She has grown up SO FAST, and for about a year now she's done it in a daycare (albeit a nice daycare run by someone I trust that loves her). Am I a bad parent for putting her daycare? No. Could I be a better parent and more of a influence to her if I was home with her? I don't think I even need to answer that question. Now let me say there are advantages to daycare--these are things I tell myself to help me sleep at night..... Some that come to mind are socialization and exposure to germs (immunity building blah blah). So as I tell myself these things to help me sleep better, the other rational side of me knows she would get both of those being a child of a SAHP (stay-at-home-parent) too.
A lot of other stuff this Alyssa woman said was just mean and spiteful, It does seem that Information Mommy is a great mom/parent. Besides, who made us the judge of what equals a "good mom" or parent? I'm certainly not perfect and make mistakes and misjudgments all the time. I admire that she cloth diapers and makes her own babyfood, but I don't think she should get a medal for doing it or anything, but it's admirable.