Monday, February 21, 2011

When people fight dirty...

I have had the most unpleasant blog commenting experience this week.  I have been reading this woman's blog for awhile now. I actually found her blog through her videos on youtube.  Not only did she suffer a devastating miscarriage between 7 and 12 weeks, called a "missed miscarriage" (and one of my biggest fears when I was pregnant), she had to quit breastfeeding shortly after her son's birth.  I was particularly impressed with the fact that she re-lactated after having to quit breastfeeding due to anxiety and taking medication.  I did not even know that this was possible.  Reading her re-lactation journey made think "wow, this is dedication" not only from her side, but from her husband's too.  I admire this woman.  

As parents we all choose to do things differently, and because I differ in how I do things does not mean that one of us is wrong.  Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe in the expression toted by youtube moms "every mother is different and every mother is right."  I do think their are things that people do that are wrong--how about putting coca-cola into your infants bottle?  Or letting your 2 year old play in the street?  These are undoubtedly WRONG things to do.  I am open-minded to alternative styles of parenting.  For example, I chose not to co-sleep, but I don't think it necessarily wrong, in fact I can see the appeal.  I didn't use pacifiers really, but I'm not against them.  I didn't use formula, but that wasn't because I think it's evil poison, I  just was blessed in that breastfeeding came easily and I was able to produce enough until after 12 months.    I don't think that I'm closed-minded.  I welcome people to disagree with me.  I encourage debate, and I have learned things from friends and fellow moms disagreeing with me and sharing with me their research and experiences.  I certainly would not call myself unintelligent, I think the 3 degrees I have would suggest I'm not uneducated, a bad speller maybe....

I don't however appreciate people that fight dirty by leaving comments that are intended not to be intelligent, but to be rude and hurtful.  By intentionally being rude and hurtful, it's neither productive nor intelligent.  I especially don't appreciate when people leave rude comments, and don't link their blog or email, so they basically drop a rude comment under an anonymous name and disappear.  That is spineless and pathetic.

Being apart of the online mom community has so many benefits, but too often it is spoiled by rude mothers.

In Rachel's case (the women whose blog I referred to), we do not necessarily agree with each other on all subjects.  That does not mean that one of us is wrong, bad parent, etc.  What I like about Rachel, is when she did disagree with me, she choice to share with me her research that detailed why she thought I was mis-informed.  I respect her so much for this.  Thank you Rachel for sharing your journey through pregnancy, miscarriage, nursing, and parenting.  I hope that you continue to share your thoughts and ideas with the online mom community, and not be put aback by rude comments from spineless people.


Laura said...

I commented on that post and really when you title your post in such a way you have to expect that type of reaction! so I am not suprised about the number of people having a little fight on her blog!

I too agree with Rachel on somethings but I am also not a fan of co-sleeping, it`s all warm and fussy but I have yet to meet someone who gets a good night sleep while co-sleeping! it is also very hard to break once the child is a toddler.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing your viewpoint and saying such lovely things about me.

I really appreciate your point of view and how you go about it. I'm sorry you have had a crappy experience because of my blog.

I think you are a brilliant Mum and agree with all you said here. I love the online mommy community and love your blog.

Life With Collin said...

To Laura, I co-sleep with my one month old, and also did with my first born until he was 10 months old. We tried an array of different sleeping arrangements, and co-sleeping was the ONLY way any of us got a good nights sleep. My oldest has been sleeping through the night in his own bed since he was 10 months old (he is now 16 months old) and it certainly was not hard to break him of the co-sleeping once he was ready.