Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Overdue and Overwhelmed

I haven't posted in awhile.  Some of the reason may be that I've been really busy just keeping up with life, and the other reasons aren't as fun to chat about.  Sometimes I catch myself avoiding sharing the not-so-sunny parts of my life.  Maybe it's because I feel like no one would want to read it anyway, or maybe there are things I don't like to admit about myself.

Lately I've been on this roller-coaster of productivity and procrastination/avoidance.  I have weeks where I feel like I'm just rockin' it as a SAHM/Wife/PhD Student/runner etc, and then I come crashing down to feeling anxiety, laziness, procrastination, defeat etc.   I'm not going to bore you with the mundane details of why I feel this way, but I've just been kind of down and anxious feeling.

I've been stressed and upset about my weight since I gained 10 lbs in 3 days after going off my diuretic 2 weeks ago.  So now I strictly watch my carb intake and I run 3 miles with my friend Nadine 3 times a week at some god-awful early hour in the morning when God is probably still sleeping, because my kid and husband certainly still are!

I've been stressed about getting behind on my sell-made deadlines on my dissertation work.  These are deadlines I've set to force myself to get shit done.  Husband won't even consider trying for baby #2 until my draft is written and returned to my advisor.  With all my setbacks lately, I've had to push all my deadlines back almost a month and that just frustrates me.  I'm trying to accept that everything in life is not life or death, and it's okay to be flexible and adjust your plan when life hands you situations or circumstances you weren't prepared for.

Things are looking up.  I have lost a lb so far this week and running is going great.  I'm signed up for a race in april that I"m really excited about.  I'm about to clean off my desk and get some work done while Mimi is passed out cold from swimming all morning.

The best thing lately has been all the time I've spent with family and the friends I've made here in Austin.  We had a really great visit with my husband's family in CA.  It was so awesome to watch Mimi with her grandparents and all her aunts and uncles.

Baking with Aunt Elisa

Relaxing with Aunty Al

Playing outside with Nonno, Uncle Aunt and Poppa

 I feel so blessed for having found such great people to spend my time with.  In one weekend alone, I helped throw a babyshower, had a cookout with 5 other families with 2-year-olds, had a fun ladies night with my non-mother friends, and even sang Karaoke with my co-workers from Gymboree.  The weekend made me realize how happy I really am here, and how lucky I am for having such great friends in my life.
Me, Melissa (mom-to-be) and Emily @ Melissa's shower

My beautiful and happy friend opening her gifts.  

My two favorite people cuddling in bed looking at pictures of animals. One of Mimi's favorite things to do....


Sascha und Karin said...

I know the feeling and I am so impressed how you manage everything like being a wife and a mom and a phd student. I am just a girlfriend and student:-)

Jeanne said...

You`ve certainly got a lot on your plate - I`m impressed with how manage to find the time for it all!
I`ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed today, hopefully I`ll start to feel more positive soon:-)
Love your blog by the way. your little girl is gorgeous x