Confessions

I'm not the best at following all these pregnancy "rules."

Confession 1.  I'm laying on my bed, on my belly, typing this blog.  What?! Almost 23 weeks pregnant with a uterus the size of a cantaloup (or bigger) and I still lay on my belly sometimes? Yup.  Gummy bear doesn't like it, Gummy squirms a lot. ]

Confession 2.  I ate raw sushi tonight. What!? Yup. It was delicious too.  I think if you eat sushi from a reputable place, raw or cooked, your risk of parasite and bacterial infection is the same pregnant or not.  Trust me.  I'm a fisheries biologist.  Go ahead, argue with me.  While we're on this subject, I eat my yokes runny, my lunchmeat cold, and I think I even ate some brie this pregnancy, let's throw in some feta for good measure....I have women who stuff their face with processed carbs, genetically modified foods and sugar and point a finger at me for eating sushi and runny eggs.  This makes no sense to me.

Confession 3.  I don't want to gain weight, and actually get disappointed when I do.  My fetal maternal specialist actually said to me at my last apt that as long as the baby measures fine (which Gummy is in the 68th percentile at 20 weeks) I could gain nothing and still have a healthy baby and he wasn't worried.  So to those friends who lecture me when I say i'm happy i've only gained 7 lbs in 22 1/2 weeks, call my doctor.  I assure you he knows what's he's talking about.  I'm not a preggorexic or anything, I just know that because I started off this pregnancy at the heavier end of my suggested weight, I dont' need to pack on 35 lbs.

Confession 4.  I don't tell people i'm pregnant because I dont' want to talk about it.  I'm not hiding it, but I don't advertise it.  No facebook updates, no formal announcement, nothing.  If you see me and you say "gee are you pregnant" I'll gladly say "why yes I am."  This is weird because with Mimi's pregnancy I would shout it from the rooftop if someone let me.  If you showed the slightest interest in talking about it, I'd talk you ear off about it.  This time I just feel way more quiet and private.  Like this is something for me, my husband, and Mimi.

Ok, there, now that I have that off my chest, I'm going to go eat some watermelon.

Finished Year 3

The other night I finished Mimi's 3 year photo book.  I have used IPhoto each year to make hardbound photobooks for her to look back on (and me too) as she gets older.  I wished my parents had kept better photo books of me as a child, although I guess with most photography being digital, it is easier and less expensive these days to create photo books.

As I "flipped" through the pages (it's still in digital form), I shed a few tears.  Maybe hormones, maybe sadness as my "baby" has grown up so quickly.  I feel so blessed everyday that we chose for me to be a stay at home mom.  It's such a privilege to watch her grow everyday.  I never take it for granted.

Today Mimi and I unwrapped her old bouncer and infant carseat from plastic we sealed them in for "baby 2."  I watched her strap her baby dolls in the seats and my heart began to melt at the thought of her being a big sister in a few short months.

I'll leave you with a few photos from the end of her book...her third birthday party.

Dreamt of Running

I've been having some pretty "real" feeling dreams lately.   I'm not sure if it's pregnancy craziness or just the fact that my sleep is constantly interrupted by tossing, turning, peeing, blowing my nose, getting water, etc.

Last night I dreamt of running.  I think I actually ran a 5K in my dreams.  I can remember the terrain of the run, the cool breeze in my face (obviously I wasn't home in TX in my dream)....I could even remember the clothes I had on.  I didn't look like a husky pregnant lady in my dream.  I felt awesome.  Then I woke up, rolled over the heavy belly and remembered I'm pregnant and had to quit running at 9 weeks along.

I don't think I could run now if I was being chased by a rabid dog.  I feel so run down, queasy, and just heavy almost everyday.  My legs and feet have begun to swell (already) at only 21 weeks along.  Now I shouldn't feel too terribly heavy, I've only gained 3 lbs! One of those pounds in the baby, and god knows there's at least another two in my boobs!  Not to mention the extra blood volume, fluids, etc.  So I shouldn't feel so husky right?

I'm really having one of those weeks where I just don't feel comfortable in my body.  I am excited about this baby.  I am feeling happy and blessed to be pregnant, I just yearn to have my happy, active life back.  I want to wake up feeling refreshed, satisfied when I eat (not sick feeling), and run with the cool breeze hot Texas air in my face.

I'm due to have this baby mid December, so hopefully by the beginning of March I'll be back on the road in my Asics feeling like my old self again (but with two sports bras probably).

Here I am in the last 5K I ran, well correction, I ran one when I was 7 weeks pregnant, but this was the last one I ran when I was really rockin' the running.  Can you believe this girl used to be 250 lbs!?

Home Again

After 3 1/2 weeks away from home, we are back.  We got back late Wednesday night, well technically Thursday morning as JetBlue lost our carseat so we had to wait around until 1am to get a loaner until they found ours the next day....anyway....

It feels AMAZING to be home.  Don't get me wrong, it felt right to take time to help my mom, I enjoyed the pleasant cool weather of upstate NY, but there's nothing like coming home.  Home to a place we only moved into a week before I left!

My husband of course lived like a bachelor while I was away. There was sausage and beer in the fridge, dingy sheets he was too lazy to change (gross) and we won't even talk about the bathrooms.  After two days of cleaning, we were back in business.

Friday we had Mimi's birthday party with her little friends at a local bounce house place and my dear friend Courtney drove up for the night and helped me out bigtime.  The party was a success, despite rude people who RSVPed "not attending" the morning of (how horribly inconsiderate).  I was a little frazzled, I even forgot my camera, but luckily Courtney had hers so the occasion will not be lost in Mimi's photobook this year!

We're all just relaxing this weekend after a month of being apart as a family.  My husband fixed Mimi's trike and my jog stroller, and I tidied the garage and we're all just bumming around in the AC now.  I have this crazy overwhelming urge to organize stuff....

Lord help me it is hot in Texas.  I dont' know if it makes me especially miserable because I just spent a month is cool Upstate NY, or because I'm 20 weeks pregnant and a human furnace.  Either way, I am crabby outside in this heat!

Pregnancy wise, I'm only up 3 lbs so far this pregnancy, but you wouldn't have guessed that by the belly! (see photo at left!) I'm feeling tired, but otherwise pretty good.  Monday morning I have my 20 week "big" anatomy scan, where we'll try not to find out with baby #2 is.  If it's a boy, I imagine in the hour long ultrasound, at some point he will show the goods and we might see...we'll see what  happens!

Alas, some photos of our trip for you...

updating from the sticks

So we've been here in rural upstate NY for just over a week.  It is pretty crazy to go from our high-paced play-date/wifi-filled life to the sticks, where my mom had dialup, my cell phone doesn't work at all (except 10 miles away in town), and I'm pretty isolated!

I actually have really enjoyed this last week.  I've been helping my mom with cooking, cleaning, and general care as she just had double foot surgery a little over 2 weeks ago.  I've been relaxing and watching movies with her at night after Mimi goes to sleep and just enjoying the cool fresh air.

I've just now gotten to a state of boredom and isolation lol.  Luckily my mom can make longer outings now that she has orthodic boots to help with walking and isn't so drugged on pain meds.  Also she can be left for a little longer periods so I've been able to take Mimi out to the lake to swim, or to library story hour, etc.

Pregnancy wise, I feel pretty exhausted and have had a lot of headaches.  Otherwise I feel pretty good. When I wake in the morning, I can feel a hard lump on one side of uterus, and it changes position throughout the day.  I never felt this with Mimi, maybe because I was heavier.  I still haven't gained any weight, but the bell is rounding out nicely!  I let Mimi tatoo my belly with washable markers the other morning to help curve her boredom, I think she did a great job!

Her birthday is this weekend.  We're having a big family picnic at one of the parks on the lake.  My husband will be travelling up this weekend too.  I miss him so much and can't wait to be together as a family for awhile!

Belly Pics - Week 16 & Fourth of July

I'm coming up on 16 weeks here folks, and man, it gets harder everyday to conceal "the belly."  Obviously I wore a pretty tight tank top this day (4th of July) because the people I was with all knew I was pregnant.  Can you believe how big it looks?!  And do you like my festive outfit? I'm pretty wardrobe challenged right now.

I should see if I have a photo of me 16 weeks along with Mimi's pregnancy, because I don't *think* I looked this big, even though I weighed a good 30-40 lbs more!  Tomorrow I go for another anatomy/growth scan of "Gummy Bear" as we affectionately call this baby.  Then I have my traditional 16 week OB apt.  Hopefully all is well.

We had a good time this year for the 4th.  I took Mimi to a parade and festival in the morning while my husband slept in and enjoyed his first day off in months.  Later that night we went to a BBQ at a friends house and lit some fireworks and saw some nice fireworks.  I was so spent by the end of the day!

Saturday I leave for 3 weeks for my Mom's in upstate NY.  I'm excited about the trip but a little stressed about tying up loose ends before I go.

I hope you all had a great Holiday (for those of you in the States)!

Feeling Very Drained

I have been the world's worst blogger lately.  I used to have all sorts of ideas of things to blog about.  I would get excited when I had a few minutes to sit down and put up a post.  I hate to be one of those women who gets pregnant and falls off the grid, but man am I drained.

I can't tell if it's because I'm older this time around (30 instead of 26), or if it's because I have high blood pressure (an added stress on my body), or if it's because I'm chasing around an almost 3 year-old and setting up the new house.  For whatever reason, I feel so drained.   I wake up feeling pretty rested usually.   Now that I'm over the first trimester sickness, I have a lot of energy from about 7 am to 1pm.  By the time I get Mimi home for lunch from one of our outings, I feel as though I'll collapse by 2pm.  Maybe it's because it's over 100 degrees here?  I have been taking naps with Mimi in the afternoons and I wake up around 5pm with sweaty Mimi snoring next to me, and I feel worse.  Have you ever woken up from a nap and felt worse!?  It's such a crappy feeling.  I wake up feeling shaky, dehydrated, headachy, etc.  

Between 5 and 6:30 (when my husband gets home) I try to muster together the energy to make him (and us) for dinner.  At least food actually sounds appetizing now.  Infact, I dream of food at night, and wake up desiring all sorts of random things.  I find myself craving things like fresh cut up vegetables, yogurt, pickles, and fruit.  Not bad right?

As far as my (and the baby's) health goes, everything seems fine.  My appointments are a lot closer together than when I was pregnant with Mimi.  I see a normal OB office every 4 weeks for your normal pee in cup/weight/bp type stuff.  I usually bring Mimi to those apts, I figure it's good for her to get used to it now, and also the office seems to really accomodate children, with toys, coloring sheets, letting her "help" with the doppler, etc.  I also go see a Maternal Fetal Specialist every 4 weeks for more "advanced" care I guess?  I get anatomy/growth scans every 4 weeks, then at 32 weeks, weekly.  I get additional blood and urine tests at those appointments, usually for stuff I dont' understand!    Oddly enough, I feel more supported and "taken care" of by the doctors and staff at the Maternal specialist, which I did not expect.   My normal OB office rotates me around 6 doctors, so each time I go, I see a perfect stranger.  Hopefully it gets better.

So far the growth scans have gone well, and baby seems to be growing fine.  It's odd because when I was pregnant with Mimi, she routinely measured days ahead on the ultrasound, whereas this baby measure dead on each time, to the day.  Is it crazy that I actually worry that this baby isn't' even a day ahead?

I've resolved myself to only keep my maternity clothes in my closet after the move to the new house since I had to reorganize the closet anyway.  It still feels weird to think I'm having another baby in December.  I still forget sometimes that I'm pregnant.  I've definitely started looking a little rounder these days.  I'm still a few pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, but I eat when I'm hungry and try all day to keep my fluids going in, so I'm not really too worried.  The numbers will go up eventually.  I am now back to eating primal again after some first trimester buttered toast binges.

I'm had to stop my workouts.  I stopped running at about 8 or 9 weeks along because I would get spotting after each run, but no spotting when I wouldn't run.  Both my doctor and I agreed that it was best to stop.   It breaks my heart, running is something I really enjoy (and now miss).  I just keep getting excited to train again after the baby is born.  I picked up swimming laps when I discontinued running, but soon realized I was too exhausted and couldn't make it through the day watching Mimi on the days I swam, and her happiness is important too.  Now I just do 1-2 mile walks with her and the dog.

This upcoming weekend Mimi and I head to upstate NY to help take care of my Mom after she had double foot surgery.  I'm both excited and apprehensive about the trip.  I haven't been back to my hometown in many years.  I also have a lot of loose ends to tie up here in Austin before I go.  Mimi and I will be gone 3 weeks, but I think it will fly by.  My husband will travel up for Mimi's birthday weekend in the middle, which will be really fun.

Hopefully I'll have some photos soon, sorry for the long update!