Family Reunion and Mimi's 2nd Birthday!

This really should be two posts.  I have some wonderful photos to share of our trip to Michigan, and thoughts about how important family is, but then I have some many thoughts on the fact that my dear daughter is 2.  Two years of memories and growing.  I also wanted to let you know how the flights went with a 2 year old.  I think I will break this up.....

Michigan Trip

at the airport ready to fly out

For awhile now we've been saying that we needed to get to Michigan to see my husbands Grandparents.  They are in their mid-eighties and his grandfather actually lives in a nursing home.  He had a stroke many years ago and his grandmother couldn't care for him anymore by herself.  As morbid and it sounds, we wanted to see them and let them meet Mimi (their only great grandchild) before they were not longer with us.  We found out that his family was going to all meet their in July (over Mimi's birthday) so we decided this would be a good time to see a lot of the family with one plane ticket purchase (after all, it's not cheap to fly as a family of 3!).

We were able to bring Mimi as a lapchild on the way, but because she turned 2 while on the trip, Delta made us buy her a oneway ticket back.... I'll discuss the travelling on another post....

My husband worked a half day Thursday and has Friday's off, so it was a pretty nice setup for a long weekend trip.  We basically ATE the entire trip and visited with family (and I'm up 6lbs to prove it!!! UGH)  No plans, no itinerary, no expectations.  It was nice to have all the family around to help with Mimi.  It gave Franco and I a break from her without feeling like she was neglected.    They swam with her, ran the halls of the hotel, played in the rooms....she had a ball.  

At a very delicious Polish Restaurant

All in all, we had 4 different families, and 4 generations.  It wasn't the most exciting vacation, but It felt so good to share food and good times with family we barely see.  I try to focus on how blessed we are to have family that loves us and Mimi.

Franco with his two brother and grandfather (Mother's Father).  Gianfilippo, Anthony and Franco, isn't crazy how much alike they look?

Mimi with Franco's Nonna, his Dad's Mother from Italy.  She is 88.

It was a little hard for my husband to say goodbye, knowing he may not see his grandparents again.  It had been 9 years since he had seen them in the first place.  My husband is so blessed to have his grandparents (he had all 4 until last September hen his Nunno passed away).

Hopefully now that I'm not working out of the home, I can take advantage of cheap flights and take Mimi to see her grandparents (on both sides) more often.

I'll do a post about Mimi's 2nd Birthday and how it was travelling with her at this age on an airplane later.  Hope everyone is doing well!

Early Morning Bloggin'

My husband truly is the most rude early riser. I can laugh about it today because I wanted to get up anyway and finish packing for our trip today, but on a normal day I am cursing his name all the way out the door.  He talks loud, turns on lights, tries to interact with me when I'm obviously STILL trying to sleep etc.  GRRRR  He says it's because when he was growing up it was his job to wake up his 4 brothers and sisters each day, and he's just a morning person.  I am NOT.  Although I must say having a kid does kind of force you to be a better morning person...

I always get so anxious right before a trip.  Travelling with a toddler is like gearing up to compete in the olympics.  You have to be lean, exact, trained, prepared.  My advice so far after travelling with Mimi on 5 or so flights (both alone and with help) over the last two years....

1.  Pack as light as possible.  Obviously you need the essentials for baby, but forget carrying on your baggage.  Save yourself the grief and fork over the $25 to check that carryon suitcase.  Do you really want to lug that AND your baby AND your stroller AND your essentials bag?  and forget bringing stuff for you to do on the plane, you're going to have your hands full do you really need to bring your macbook or pride and prejudice to read for the 20th time?
2.  Hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer.  Mimi gets the stomach bug almost EVERY time we travel.  Obviously I'm not following my own rule enough...
3.  Snacks.  Pack snacks, more than you know your kid will eat.  Snacks save me in clinch situations of tantrems.  "Mimi stop clawing me and you can have frosted animal crackers."  Who cares if they eat too many snacks on this one day if they're happy and not crying?
4.  Remember that you paid for your tickets too.  When you board the plane, people will be eyeing you saying to themselves "Please don't be next to me. Please don't be next to me...."  You know what!? Suck it up gerkface, kids are people too and I paid for my ticket too.  I'll do my best to keep my kid content, quite, and under control, and you do your best to act like a polite human being.
5.  Now this one is going to piss off some of you, but that's okay, because I'm being honest and it's muy kid.  Infant Benedryl.  Yes.  I said it.  I have in the past resorted to sedating my child.  I know I'm evil right? My approach is to not sedate my child with allergy medicine except as a last resort.  I flew once with Mimi by myself a few months after I stopped nursing (so after year 1).  Before that time, flying with her was a breeze as long as I had my boobs handy....anyway...so I"m alone on a flight cramped as hell, and Mimi isn't one of those kids that will fall asleep on your lap being rocked. She pretty much will ONLY fall asleep in her bed or in a car. No stroller naps, no holding her walking naps, NOTHING.  So she was screaming, thrashing, not responding to any toys or snacks and so overtired.  I tried to rock her, rub her back, anything. NOTHING worked.  I caved.  Benedryl adminstered midflight at 1/2 the recommended dose, 10 minutes later she was zonked out.

Well, now I'm off to the grocery store with my last minute list. Then it showers and airport time.  I'll report on how it went when we return from Michigan!

Have a great weekend (I know it's Thrusday, but I"m headed out peeps!)

Stop Dressing Like a Mom

I seriously am starting to fall into the trap of dressing like a stay at home mom.  I met this one mom at the park (however nice/friendly etc) she epitomized my mental image of a SAHM.  Old 5K shirt, workout capris, hat, sneakers, no makeup.  Wow I sound really judgmental. I'm not saying she looked bad, I'm saying that I do no want to fall into a habit of not putting some effort into my looks.  When I try to put a little effort into how I look, I feel better about myself.  I'm not saying I flat iron my hair and put on fake eye lashes to go sweat at the park, but I try to look one notch above rolling out of bed (at least lol).

If I don't watch out, I'll wear these  nike drifit shorts and t-shirts everyday.  The hat would be my everyday too, most days I put off showering in the morning knowing I'm going sit and sweat at the park or swim in chlorine with Mimi.  

I like this photo of me a little better. I took a dress from Target and added a necklace and belt from Forever 21.  Not expensive or flashy, but I just felt better about myself.

CSA Subscription

So moving to Austin and only having one of us work meant we needed to have a budget and stick to it if we were going to have a comfortable life on one income.    We I sat down and created our new monthly budget.  This budget includes everything from costs associated with renting our property in Florida, to utilities, food, entertainment, transportation, debt, pets, investments/savings, etc.  One place you can really tighten up your budget with a little bit of organization is your food.  This includes the groceries you buy and the money you spend going out to eat.  We have noticed that there are two things in our month-to-month expenses that can kill our budget if we don't pay attention---Travel and Eating Out.

Double Whammy! Eating out in Austria!!! Sorry for the random photo....We took this trip in September 2010

In an effort to reduce food expenses we limit eating out to once or twice a month.  I'm not saying we won't stop and get an icecream cone and count that as one of our eat outs, but full on eating a meal out we limit.  We budget $100/month for such occasions.  The other thing we are really trying to tighten up is groceries.  With all the amazing grocery stores in Austin, it's really difficult to stay on budget.  With Whole Foods, Central Market, HEB, and farmers markets everywhere, we went a little crazy the first month.   In Gainesville, we were able to keep our grocery budget to about 70-80 dollars a week.  Now that is how much we spend to feed two adults, 1 toddler, and a dog.  We buy some products organic (milk, yogurt, apple products, tomato products, some fruits), and other non-organic.  We also only eat meat 1-2 times per week, dont' eat many processed foods, and don't drink soda or use paper towels.

We have been going to a few different farmers markets over the last 3 weeks and were spending ~$25-30/trip for a weeks's worth of produce (mostly organic fruit and veggies).  We found one specific farmer that had GREAT organic produce for a GREAT price.  They just started a CSA program and we grabbed their brochure.  We decided we would try it for a month and see if we actually can consume one portion each week without wasting produce AND do we mind not picking our selections.    The program costs $30/week, but if you buy more months in advance, you get significant discounts.  We asked the women to show us how much you get for $30 (which is what we were spending anyway on average) and it was MUCH more than we had thought.  So, we paid our first month and we're going to give it a whirl.  This leaves us $50/week to spend on non produce items such as dairy, eggs, meat, dried goods, and miscellaneous stuff like coffee and juice.

So each week we get a half-bushel box with a variety of 8-12 seasonal, organically-grown vegetables, fruits and herbs.  We are also getting locally grown food and supporting a local company.  Good warm and fuzzies all around right?

The only thing I'm scared of  is all of the winter greens.  My husband LOVES them, I HATE them lol.

Our Saturday

We ventured out today to a child-sized amusement park and met up with some of the families I've met at the local park.  It's really nice to make friends in a new city.  Especially when they have kids the same age as yours.

We met everyone at 10, and it was a beautiful overcast day.  I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but here in Texas man, the sun BURNS.  It wasn't rainy, just cloudy and breezy.  We bought our tickets as a group of 10 and got them 50% off, which was really cool.  All the parents were allowed to ride for free with one ticketed child.  They were all toddler-sized carnival rides.  Mimi looks miserable in the photos, but I swear she did have fun!

After the rides we decided to pass on lunch with the families and try to make it to our local farmer's market before it closed at 1pm.  We picked up some AMAZING organic produce, and for the prices of conventional vegetables at the local grocery store.  I think we will be joining the CSA of one of the particle farmers that comes to the farmers market.  We are loving their stuff.

Of course we had to get snowcones on the way home.  Can't be too healthy now with all of our smug organic produce right!?

Phew. After all this, I need a nap.  Later Gators....

I knew this day would come....

Now if you're reading this, please understand i'm just a little pissed off irritated right now.  When my husband and I decided that I would quit working and stay home full-time with our toddler (and future kids), he told me how happy it made him that I was game for it.  I have been in college since August of 2000 folks, non-stop, so 11 yes ELEVEN years.  I have almost 3 degrees.  I did not go to college to find a husband to take care of me.  I want a career too, I want to make the big bucks and feel really awesome about my job performance too.  BUT, I see the value (both monetary and other) in our choice, so I will put my aspirations of a career on hold and give my time and energy into something more important, our children.  Just because I stay home with our child all day, this does not mean I'm the house maid and chef full-time.

I feel that as my husband is providing our family's income, my way of giving to the family if by keeping up our home and raising our child.  I literally do everything for our home/life/finances/child, except go to my husband's job. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I pay the bills, I take care of our rental property, the pets, our child, doctor apts, travel arrangements, taxes, I even took care of our entire move including single-handedly unpacking 150 boxes.   Doing all this is MORE THAN A FULLTIME JOB.

Tonight, after we put Mimi to bed after a day or errands, I sat on the couch and turned on the laptop and began to check messages etc.  The kitchen was pretty messy from last night's dinner (that I cooked) and we had been out all day since breakfast.  We have our new babysitter coming tomorrow so I told him I was going to get things cleaned up I just needed to take a break for a minute.  He looked the kitchen and began to huff and puff and do it himself.  I just let him.  Why not?  I clean the kitchen 3 times a day ALL WEEK LONG.  Just because he goes to a desk job all day he can't clean the kitchen once a week?

When I asked him what was wrong he told me it disgusted him that I left all those dirty dishes there since yesterday and that I didn't clean them up.  I think he forgot that he ate off those dishes too.  And he drank the coffees I made him etc etc etc.

It was liked he flipped a switch in me.  I instantly became so angry and defensive I wanted to scream.  What does he think this is I Dream of Genie?  What is he? my new Devil bossman?  I am going to start keeping a list of what I do all day everyday and count up the hours that I was constantly working and give it him. Like a SAHM punchcard.  I knew that someday I would face the reality of how husbands take their stay at home wives for granted, but after 3 weeks?  3 weeks and he's scolding me for leaving the dishes for one day?  I am mystified.  I am so irritated.

Image Credit

I know you think that I'm overreacting here ladies, but this is like a gigantic red flag to me.  I am not going to be treated like a little house servant.  I'm not perfect. Somedays I"m tired, or have a headache, and the dishes aren't always cleaned up straight away, but why should that overshadow all the other "work" I do?  Raising a kid (especially a 2 year-old) is way harder than my 8-5 job was.  There's more joy in it, but it's still a lot harder.  I feel exhausted at the end of the day too. I want to relax a little on the weekend too.

I want a serious apology.  Or at least a conversation about how I didn't appreciated how he came off and I want him to be truly receptive to my words, and not just appease me and give out some blanket apology so I'll "get over it."  My husband isn't a jerk, but sometimes he doesn't realize how the things he says can be taken very differently than he intended.

UGH

The 6 Month Plan

Do you think most women are just "planners?"  I know I am.  I know my friend Grace is (to the extreme! lol).  Grace used to tell me that on her lunch break she would go sit and eat at a restaurant by herself and I would say to her "well what did you do? just sit there and eat alone?" and she would tell me how she would read and list and budget and lay out her "plan."  (Grace I would link your blog but you've been a major blogger slacker!)I don't often sit and reflect on my "plan" anymore.  After having Mimi and falling off track of my 4 year graduation with my PhD, I lost my ability to plan my life.  Life just kept happening.   Now, today I'm sitting at a desk in Austin Texas in my pajamas drinking ice coffee with my almost two year old watching pbs with the most adorable bed hair I've seen in my life.  How did I get here?  Unemployed as a SAHM in Texas?  Franco and I look at each other almost everyday and we have this moment and we say "How the heck did we end up in Texas!?"  I think this kindred spirit might have had something to do with it!

a quick side note....
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One of my BFFs just had the most adorable friggin baby boy I've seen in my life!  When she resurfaces in a month and reads this blog post, I want her to know how much I love her and how proud I am of her!  I'm blessed to know her.  I can't wait to go visit her and see this adorable child.  Congrats 1,000 times to you and your family!
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So I sit here, once again sipping my ice coffee, and thinking of my "plan."  What is in store for me?  I used to have a 5 year plan, then a 1 year plan.  Now I'm shooting for 6 months.  I'm going to call this my 6 month plan.  Now I share this for two reasons, one it's my blog and kind of a journal for me, and two, to hold me accountable, in 6 months I want all of you ladies to gripe at me and ask me how the plan is going!!!

I have 3 major things I want to accomplish in the next 6 months.

1.  Finish writing the workable draft of my dissertation for Spring graduation.  I NEED to get this done.  My doctorate degree hangs on my shoulders like a 100 lb weight.  I need to finish it.  I (and others) spent a lot of time, money and energy on this.  After July is over, our home is settled and organized, it's go time.  I want to have a draft by January.

2.  Speaking of weight on my shoulders....I have 15 more lbs to lose.  I give myself this 6 month deadline to do it.  This would be 0.8 lbs per week.  I can do it.  I've started 5K 101 again, and I've cleaned up my diet a lot.  For once in my life I look at losing weight as the easiest task on my list.  I've already lost 80 lbs, what's 15 more?

3.  Hit our savings goal.  My husband and I have made this savings goal that would allow us to have 4-6 months of expenses paid in full, with all of our consumer debt gone.  Then if one of us is in a job situation like I was working for the devil, we can change jobs and not be financially crushed.  Also, we want to be able to ride those financials waves that hit you without drowning (car repair, new roof on our FL house, etc).  We're 41% there.

Hopefullly, when I check these three things off my list in 6 months, we'll be able to try for another baby. Sounds like a good plan right?

Mimi wants to give a quick shout out to her friend D, she misses her so much! Hope she's well!