Regret

The word regret has such a powerful feeling to it doesn't it?  Don't worry, I'm not going to write this serious/heavy blog post about regret.  I do regret something however...

I regret eating crap for lunch.  Today I didn't have time (once again) to pack my lunch due to lack of planning and excessive snoozing.....so...round about 12 pm, I was starving and thinking about what to go get for lunch.  Having your husband drop you off at work is nice and all, but it leaves you car-less, unable to choose other foods than what is immidiately available.   Where I work, there is a cafeteria and here are my choices:

Subway
Wendy's
Einstein Bagels
Chil  Fil  A
Hovan (greek place)

Let me tell you, the two healthiast in general are Subway and Hovan--but come on, you can only eat Greek salad or a turkey sub so many times in a week before you want to gag.  Today I walked on over to the cafeteria and said "Self, what should you eat?"  My conscience said "get hummous and tabouleh and you'll be calorie safe but not really enjoy your lunch, or get a turkey sub and some cheddar sunchips and it'll fill you up but not be enjoyable."  Today my conscience lost and I go in line at Wendy's.  Now don't get me wrong, Wendy's isn't all bad, but most of it is.  I ordered their BLT Cobb salad (no croutons with Grilled chicken).  I coudn't stop myself there, I don't know what came over me.  I ordered a small frosty AND a small frie.  OH MY FRIGGIN GOD WHAT WAS I DOING.  I ate all of it. About 20 minutes later I felt kind of sick.  Could be for a few reasons--
1.  I hardly EVER eat fries
2.  I ate too much food in general
3.  I found out how many calories were in my completed lunch

Wait for it-------

Holy shit.

So now I feel sick.  I have decided I'm eating a bowl of cheerios for dinner tonite.  I'm supposed to run today too so that should help.  Geesh Louise.  1300 friggin' calories?! Are you kidding me?

So yes, REGRET.

Closet Shopping

Main Entry: ¹clos·et shop·ping

Function: verb

Etymology: Middle English

1:  Term used to describe the phenomenon when the clothes in your closet that haven't fit in 5-7 years suddenly fit you again.

Hello jeans that fit when I was 22 years old and an undergrad in college....

don't mind the somewhat weird photo--just pointing out my thighs dont' rub together anyomore, and if you've ever been a "chunky" gal like myself you totally get this

Less offensive angle

I love this beat up jeans like puffy love cheesecake

now for running shorts so I can keep on closet shopping.....

Me happy because it's like having a couple pairs of new jeans that I got for free :-)

Christmas Challenge Weightloss Update-Week 4

I'm pretty sure this is week 4--I get confused! According to my little excel spreadsheet it's week 4.  I have lost 5.2 lbs in 4 weeks, which equates to 1.3 lbs per week.  My goal was to lose 1.25 lbs per week.  I'm am beyond thrilled with my progress.  Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to have lost more, but I'm happy with just "staying on track."

This past week I completed week 1 of the 5K101 training program.  You were supposed to do the run 3 times in one week.  I actually ended up doing 4.  I got to the track yesterday to do my week 2 run for the first time and didn't have it on my IPOD, ugh.  So instead of going home and wasting all that time, I just did the week 1 for a fourth time.  Which I'm happy I did because I rocked it!  I feel really confident moving into week 2 now.  My knee is feeling fine but I've been icing it just as a preventative measure.

I'm down to only nursing on demand on weekends and in the  morning and night, and barely pumping, so I'm happy that I haven't starting gaining any weight from lack of milk production.

I am still keeping count of all my calorie with About.com's calorie count site.  I'm finding it pretty easy to use and keep up.

I'm hoping for a good week.  I'm really sick of my job.  I am keeping my eyes peeled for other opportunities that would allow me more time at home with Mimi but with enough money to cover my part of the bills. Wish  me luck.

I want to hand out a "gold star" to Courtney for her weightloss this week! You go girl!

I was so spoilied

For about 2 years now we've had a cleaning lady come biweekly to clean the heck out of our house.  Don't get me wrong, I clean too--but this lady would do things you don't do all the time---bleach fridge, clean grout, baseboards, fan blades, blinds, the works.  We originally found her when I was studying for my qualifying exams and planning our wedding.   I was having trouble concentrating on studying and was using cleaning as a way of procrastinating because I couldn't sit still and study unless the entire house was clean.  After the exams (which I passes with flying colors) and our wedding (which went perfectly), we decided we'd wait it out a few months then see if we still needed the cleaning help.  Our house is small, but with the dog and our buys lives, it got so messy.  THEN I got pregnant and forget it, we were keeping her! I made sure there was room in our budget for Mary (our cleaning helper).  And now that i've gone back to work full time and my husband is working full time too, we need the help more than ever to keep up with the cleaning.

Two weeks ago our poor Mary got into a car accident.  She's fine, but her chest is all bruised and sore and she can't clean.  We're not mad at her by any means, but boy do we miss her!!  Today I decided to clean "Mary Style."  I got up, had breakfast, then went room by room and cleaned like the dickens.  Wiping baseboards, fan blades, shaking out rugs, vacuuming, mopping, tidying, dusting, scrubbing.  I did our office, bathroom, bedroom and nursery and man I'm spent.  Mary is worth every penny I pay her.  I've been enabled to long to only have to "tidy" up in between her visits.  I still have to go tidy up the kitchen and dining room but then I'm done-entire house spick and span.  Let's see how long it lasts!

So I guess my point today is----if you decide to get some "help" be careful getting enabled.  It's really hard to go back to doing it yourself when you've had help for so long.

Mimi is sleeping, so off to finish the kitchen then we're going to a tiki party this afternoon.  Have a great weekend!!!

Here's a glimpse of our messes.....taken from my new Iphone last night (which by the way I love and don't know how I lived without it!!!)

Thank You

I just wanted to say thank you to all my supportive readers!  You guys are all so amazing, you leave me such wonderful comments and words of suppor.  You guys are full of good advice and resources.  I read all of your blogs (and if i'm not tell me so I will!).

I have changed my settings so that anonymous people can no longer leave comments.  I understand that not everyone agrees with me, and that's fine.  I encourage you to comment when you don't like what I wrote and tell me so.  I don't on the other hand appreciate rude comments from anonymous readers.  If you are going to be rude, at least have the decency to attach your name to your comments, so that others can see who is being so rude.  Don't hide your rudeness by remaining anonymous.

My blog is a place for me to be myself, uncensored, and open.  My blog is a place where I find other supportive women (and some men surprising) who are going through the same issues as myself, whether is is struggling with weight, children, families, work, etc.  I won't tolerate rude people.

I hope that this change doesn't make any of my respectful readers hesitant to leave me a comment.  I read them all and appreciate your support.  I have met so many wonderful people through this media outlet.  I am so thankful.

Have a great day!

Christmas Challenge Weightloss Update

Alright Ladies-----

Today I was 194.6!  Can I tell you something....today I weighed less than my husband for the first time in probably 6 years!  I know that sounds pathetic, but we're both 5'10", and today I finally weighed less.  I did a dance around him in the living room this morning at 6:45 am, he wasn't as excited as I was, he hadn't had his coffee yet.

So here's my chart:

As you can see I am below my line!  I was supposed to be 195.25 by yesterday, and I was less.  I don't expect to always stay below my blue line.  Let's be realistic, our weight fluctuates, we have off weeks, etc.  I'm going to do my best to stick with it and meet my goal!

I'm been tracking my calories and I started the 5K101 training program.  The other day I wore a pair of shorts that I had bought on sale YEARS ago from american eagle that still had the tags on.  So losing weight is like getting a free shopping trip in my closet!  Cool right?

Well my evil boss is back from his trip and making work life oh-so-wonderful (sarcasm), so I have to get back to work!

Oh weekend, why do you leave me so soon?

It can't be Sunday night already??~~~!!!

This weekend was full but too short!  Friday night we had dinner at an Indian restaurant here in town that just opened.  The food was overpriced, came out cold, and the service was pretty bad---I'll give them another try in awhile.  What was most irritating was my husband's lack of help at dinner.  We went right after we picked her up from daycare.  So the poor kid is hungry and somewhat tired, not to mention 1 YEAR OLD, so she wasn't a sitting there all quiet like a porcelain doll.   Every little peep she made my husband was getting all irritated.  He kept saying "I'll just take her outside" "Mimi quiet", I'm like come on she's 1, not a mime.  She's gonna make noise.  There were plenty of other kids there that were making some noise too, so it wasn't like we were the couple with that crazy screaming kid.  Secondly, I spend the entire meal trying to feed Mimi basmati rice off a fork and never get to eat my food.  My husband kindly offered to help AFTER he had finished all of his food.  I"m about sick of that.  It makes me not want to go out to dinner with the entire family, because here I am paying to eat out and NEVER eating my food or enjoying it.    UGH so that was my vent.

Saturday started off okay, Mimi I went to Target while Daddy slept in, which I thought was really nice of me.  Then when I got home I wanted to go running before we headed to Tampa for the afternoon/evening. I told my husband to try to keep her awake so she would sleep on the 2 hour car ride.   I tried out the new running program my friend recommended to me called 5K101.  It is a program of you ipod that prompts you when to change intervals when you're training to runn 30 minutes (3 miles).  It's an 8 week program.  I"m on week 1! It was hot as hell out but I did my run.  I came home to this:

Which has actually never happened before....So not only did she sleep for only 30 minutes, but she SCREAMED all the way to Tampa.  We even stopped in the middle to get out and let her walk and get a drink.  She fell asleep 10 MINUTES before we got to our destination! GRRRRR  So you can imagine how rotten she was all day.  To top the evening off--I had what was the probably the WORST migraine in my life.  As the afternoon went on it got worse and worse.  By the time we were in the car heading home that night I was in tears.  My head hurt so bad I wanted to go to the hospital.  Every headlight was like a strobe light to my face, any sound killed me, I felt nauseas.  It was HORRIBLE.  I haven't gotten a migraine that bad ever before.  I got home and took some medicine and a bath and fell asleep until 4:30 am.

Today was a good day :-)  We played all morning, did our grocery shopping together, and Mimi took a 3HOUR NAP!  Thank you jesus, I needed that so much.  We had a great afternoon playing outside and ate a nice family dinner.

Now begins the Sunday night dread.  I dread going to my job.  It makes my stomach turn with anxiety.  I need to find a job that I don't dread going to, such an awful feeling.  UGH.

Hope you all had great weekends!